Step Forty Seven: Flamenco Dancer

Dear Fi,

It is hard to believe that December is almost over! Soon our 52 steps project will be over too... Three posts for December (for me) and three more weeks in January - that is all that is left... If there is one thing I've learned during our journey it is the fact that it is not hard to create every week, what is hard, and what takes more time than the actual creation is writing, preparing photos, and publishing.

The pictures for my posts were imprisoned in my camera since my Mac died on me again (sic!!!) at the beginning of December and nobody had the time to take it somewhere to fix it. I uploaded all pictures to my cute but small tiny microscopic netbook which is not designed to work with pictures and it also doesn't have any programs for editing them. I spent a few hours trying to choose and edit the pictures for the step 47 and 48 {believe me painting and making Christmas cookies took me less time... ha, ha}.

In both cases when I finally finished my projects it was late and the last thing I wanted to do was to edit pictures and write about my work he, he. Unfortunately, most of the pictures I took were dark and I knew that it would take me forever additional time to fix it, unless I just give up on them and post them straight from my camera. But the pictures were huge, so I needed to resize them anyway...  and with the end of semester (my practicum evaluation and papers writing) and with Christmas approaching... I just left everything as it was Dear Fi and I didn't post at all.

So, finally here I am posting my December posts.

The pictures below show the process of creating this painting. The title comes from my husband {at a certain point this is what he saw in this painting and as he confirmed - he can still see the dancer in movement}. I wanted to play with the idea of covering colours with white, as I did in my other step. The reds and purples were "calling" me for a quite a bit lately, so I decided to use the strong colours as a background. I really enjoyed using a painting board for this project.

After finishing the background I chose various papers and covered them in gold, red and purple, I wanted to glue some paper scraps to my painting. 

After tearing a few scraps and gluing them to the painting I started to cover the background in white. I also used some wooden tools to carve on the top of the white layer, so the background colours would show up. While painting I decided to add more scraps. 

After covering the background in white I started to play with some pastels and paints to add some details. 

Then I blended more colours to the top white layer. 

{This is when my husband saw the painting and said that he sees a woman dancing and that apparently she is a Flamenco dancer ha, ha. Apparently, the gold scraps represent her hands in motion}.

At this point I didn't like the end effect (not because all I could see was the Flamenco dancer now!). I didn't like the gold scraps. They were too big. This is why trying to lessen their presence I added more stuff. 

Too bad the pictures were taken late, because even with all that editing, the colours don't show properly. I'm not very happy with the end result. However, I was very happy with the process. I really enjoyed playing with all these various mediums and I really had fun while working on this piece.

I do not have a title for this piece, so this is why I used my husband's idea ha, ha. However, what I see in this painting is movement and aliveness, so somehow it might represent "A Dance of Life" ;)

Love :*

Sylvia 

Step Thirteen: Play!

Dear Fi,

I am not sure why “stuff” happens the way it happens in my life right now. I feel drained of all of my life’s juices. I dream about freedom from almost everything. Things didn’t go smooth lately on this side of the globe. I think it started with my mom’s broken hand, which stopped her from coming here to help me when I needed her the most. Last week she finally got here but her right hand will need at least couple of months to be able to do the simplest motions, so we are both trying to be patient. Then, during the Easter we had a sudden death in the family, and some unexpected hospitalizations, so the air became very heavy, and it was really hard to breath. My problems with finishing my paper on time were so unimportant and worrying about everything else didn’t make sense. Life just stopped for a moment and every time the phone rang I was scared to answer.

Finally, yesterday I said “enough”. People are coming and going and I cannot stop or change this. The only thing I can do is to change how I react, and what I do when life brings these uneasy to swallow lessons. So, against all the odds I decided to paint something happy and playful.

A few weeks ago I bought a painting board - I wanted to try a new medium. Then a few days ago I saw how my daughter painted and I couldn’t stop watching her. I was in awe, but I also felt a little jealous for her freedom and confidence, for the joy she emanated while mixing her colours and applying them on paper. She had so much fun Fi. Her behaviour blew me away, as well as her paintings. The one below is my favourite, and it has become an inspiration for today’s project.

The process of painting this piece was hilarious. Dear Fi, I know that I won’t be able to recreate it for you, but at least I will try to give you a sense of how it went.

After I applied a white background to my painting board I chose some “happy” colours and started to paint with my left hand. As soon as I started I could hear a part of me screaming: “NO!!!”, so I tried to tune in and I imagined that I was witnessing the right hand/left brain vs. left hand/right-brain conversation, which went like this:  

LH: ah! i love that pink, so sweet :)
RH: What is going on here? Who chose these colours!!!
LH: oh! look at this yellow, i love yellow, it is such a sunny coulour!
RH: We don’t use yellow!!! Never - ever! Tell her - we don’t use yellow!
LH: la, la, la, love the surface, so smooth, i don’t need a brush i will use my fingers :)
RH: Stop it!!! Give me back that brush!!! I am in charge. I am in charge here!!!!
LH: wow! so much fun :)
RH: Somebody do something. She ruined everything!!! We need to post today! This is so unprofessional!!! I cannot stand this!

Yes, something like that. At some point I noticed that my right hand was holding a brush, and believe me Fi, I didn’t know when it happen and how? So it was funny, because it really felt like a fight over the brush and coulours. My “playful side” wanted to have fun and enjoy the process while my “serious side” wanted to control and dictate every step because she was worried about the end effect. However, the longer I painted the easier it went. My right hand relaxed and she started to use her fingers instead of the brush. It really was a great process for me. I enjoyed it, the whole journey, and I finished my project with a smile.

At one point my mom came downstairs and said: “O! You are painting with your hands? I could do this too”. So I said, “I will buy more boards and the next time we will paint together”. Then my husband came home from work and when I showed him the painting he started to laugh and said: “What is this? I can paint like this too”. I don’t think he realized that it was a compliment for me. I wanted this painting to be playful and bright. I knew I’m not a child anymore, and that it is very hard for adults to paint a child-like art. What comes so natural to children takes a lot of effort for adults unless... they can tap into their playful source, their inner child - an expert of all playfulness, fun, and creativity.

You can say Dear Fi, that it is not a child’s painting but I hope you can also see that I had fun while “working” on today’s project.

 :*

Sylvia

P.S.
After the disaster last week I promised myself to start doing my projects on Monday, to be sure that I can finish on time. It is not less crazy on Monday than it was on Tuesday though. However, the point for posting here every week was to keep going even if disasters happen, even if it’s crazy and busy and whatever. So, I expected that the time will come when I will ask myself “Why do you must post every Tuesday???” or “Do you really think it matters?” or “Is this really THAT important for you?”. Honestly, I thought I would ask these questions earlier but somehow I didn’t for the first eleven weeks ha, ha.

So, last week I had an idea but I couldn’t make it. Instead I posted a bunch of photos which were supposed to be postcards but I wasn’t able to finish what I had started. So I decided to post what I had instead of posting nothing. I though that you would forgive me, and nobody comes here anyway to judge so it wasn’t that bad after all ha, ha ;) I already read your post so I see that you are going through similar stuff, but at least you wrote your post!!! Mine was supposed to be incorporated to those postcards, and I really couldn’t do more than I did last Tuesday. However, I still think about finishing what I had started, so I decided that after I finish this semester (one more paper, and one more presentation) I will come back to these photos and I will show you what I meant by “postcards from nowhere”. I think I will just update my twelfth step under what is already posted, so it won’t be cheating, and at the same time I won’t make another post with the same pictures. I’m not sure if this is clear and when it will happen, but I promise you - it will. So, when you finally finish with your shelf you can update your post too with a picture of your accomplishment - I would love to see it :)