Step Nineteen: Stones and circles...

Dear Fi,

Stones again. I really like the pictures above. Very symbolic, very at the right moment for me. It is funny, because the symbolism of these two pictures is really stronger now than when I arranged the stones to photograph them. I didn’t put a lot thought into it, it was a natural, simple, and rather quick movement he, he.

I am currently taking a class about group work. I am also involved in some group work and training outside of the University (working with a Wise Woman again!). Somehow stones always bring the image of a circle, and the circle represents the connection between people sharing time/space together. Sacred circles... especially women’s circles.

The wild flowers, brought home by my three and half year old daughter, and placed in my favourite wine glass are so beautiful yet so simple. At first I though that they symbolize a leader. An authentic, charismatic, visionary, compassionate person. A living inspiration. When people approach a leader like this, they naturally form a circle around her, they want to be close, and to follow her. But then I understood that the flowers are so different from the stones, they are not the same kind. I also thought that a true leader would rather sit in the circle together with other women, instead of putting herself in the centre.

So I decided that these flowers symbolize a higher power, universe, great spirit, goddess, holiness, consciousness, energy, a whole... The list goes on but I will stop here Dear Fi, because I got carried away ha, ha. {And if I don’t stop now I will write my master thesis on the power of women’s circles, creativity, and spirituality. Actually... I might do this one day when I get bored and have lots of free time ha, ha - so probably never}.

Anyway, I cannot concentrate while writing this post. Lots of things are going on in my life right now. All amazingly good, and inspiring, I feel uplifted and I feel like I am on the right path, and I am so excited. However, the thing is, there is nothing concrete to share because all that is happening is happening on the inside, still in process, still hasn’t taken a form, still very raw.

OK, I will just try now to jump and quickly say a few words about my project, shall I?

First of all I thought I would be done with my project in an hour (haven’t I learned anything yet so far???). I prepared the stones yesterday, I found them, collected them, and washed them. I was ready to start painting them right after waking up. I didn’t need to choose colours I knew what colours I would use before even realizing that I would paint the stones. These stones are a gift for a special woman, and I had planned to get something done for her since January (BTW, no this is not the longest it has taken me to finish a project, so two years for your Kususama ball isn’t really that bad, trust me!).

Anyway, I digress again. The point is that I have had many ideas for this gift in the last couple of months, I even shared one with you in post number 6 and 7, where I talked about painting nine hearts for her. Honestly, I think I just wasn`t ready, not even busy, there were weeks I could simply do something and it would be done. But I didn`t wanted to have it done, I wanted to put my whole heart into it and I wanted this project to bring a “special kinds of feelings” he, he.  Did that sound weird? Not for me.

So, everything was prepared, I was ready and eager to paint... only to discover right after I started to paint that something strange happened to my eyes. The sad thing is, Dear Fi, that my eyes are getting older, and somehow I totally didn`t expect this to happen so soon. I just couldn’t see properly. This is why instead of painting these stones in a few hours it took me a half day to finish today’s project. And when I finally did, the sun disappeared and while taking the last pictures on my patio, it started to rain.

 

Now, to end it somehow ;)

1. I’m very happy with the end result, and yes lots of “special kinds of feelings” were floating above these stones today :) he, he

2. I need to IMMEDIATELY schedule an appointment to an optometrist!!!

3. Finally... this post totally sucks, I have no idea what I was writing about and what I actually wanted to say. It is a great example of “How NOT to write”. I’m in a hurry and in the middle of my spring session. So, besides all of the great things {I wish I knew how to put them into words today} I have some serious work to do tonight.

Love

:*

Sylvia

Step Fifteen: Stones...

Dear Fi,

I’m scribbling these words in my notebook at my daughter’s dance class. I have about 45 minutes of waiting, so I need to use this time to write this post otherwise I will have no chance to do this today. Just to be clear - no, I haven’t finished my paper yet. Ha, ha. I know - pathetic - but I’m not going there today. It will be done pretty soon.

In the meantime lets talk about my project ;)

Stones.

I thought about painting them a long time ago. So, yesterday I went for a walk in the neighbourhood and I picked up a few. Later at night when I couldn’t write anymore, I washed them and started to paint. I didn’t think about any design. I just painted and tried to listen and see what the stones wanted me to do. Weird? Maybe... but this was the process I used. I painted almost all of them.

So today I had to finish painting the few I had left. Then I needed to paint over all of them - at least three layers of each colour, so they would be more visible. Then I took the pictures.

I don’t know about you my Dear but I think they look happy now ha, ha.

I have no idea how to put this thought together in a way that makes sense, because I’m intellectually drained. However, I will try, because it is something I was contemplating lately. I’ve painted stones before. I remember one small show I had for a group of people here in Calgary. I brought my paintings, some of them 48” x 48” big, and other artwork I was proud of only to discover that most people gathered around a small table where I had put a poster with two stones. The stones’ purpose was to keep the poster from falling off the table but they got the most attention. So, I was even more disappointed when everybody started to compliment me on the turtle stone. Not that I didn’t like it, but the other one was actually my favourite, not to mention that the turtle stone stole all the attention from the other things I brought.

Last week I talked with my lovely brother through Skype - so I could see his face when he checked our blog. It was the “Play” post he saw first and then I could see his disappointment. He said it looked like Amelie or Bruno painted this (and that was the point ha, ha!). And then he asked me if I still painted my mandalas. I told him that I cannot paint the same things I painted more then 15 years ago, that I have changed...

I would like to think that I grew and that my artwork evolved through all of these years with me. I feel like it did. I feel more free and more confident. I could never paint something “against” myself, and I still cannot. I need to believe in what I’m doing and I need to trust the process to be able to honestly express myself. I always thought that my art in some way mirrors my life. Picasso said that “painting is just another way of keeping a diary” and I think that he was totally right.

So, today my Dear Fi I look at these stones and I feel happiness. I look at these stones and I see the power of simplicity and the confidence of choice. I look at them and I smile :)

:*

Sylvia