52steps

Step Fifty Two: Seriously, the last one?

2011-01-25T23:05:00.001-07:00

Dear Fi,

It took me quite long (like: forever) to decide what to do for my last post. I really liked your idea about creating something for each other, to exchange the gifts when we meet. I actually loved that idea, because it makes our meeting look more tangible than ever ;) However, the process of deciding on my fifty second step was agonizing. I knew that I won't have much time on Tuesday so I started to work on this project on Sunday. I wasn't sure what I wanted exactly, but I knew a few things.

1. mixed media piece
2. something to hang up but not a painting
3. using red and gold
4. incorporate a "special" button - the same one I used in my first post (I had only two of them, and somehow using this button for the last post seemed to me like my personal sort of closure)
5. the phrase "follow your dreams" popped up in my mind and even though it sounds like such a cliche, I couldn't help not to using it

It was really enough information to get excited and start the "last" (at least in this format) journey.
The idea of trying something I have always wanted to do, but never did came up and I thought that it would be really great for this particular project. Instead of using a frame I wanted to use a cardboard as background for this piece and later attach a wire with some additional "cute things" so you could easily hang it wherever you want.

At this point I got really excited. I searched through my art supplies and started gluing stuff to that cardboard only to find out about five minutes later that everything I glued shrank, wilted and looked really ugly. So, I was very disappointed by my first attempt - the poor effect almost made me cry. I had already spent a few hours on thinking, preparing, and working on the project and it seemed like I wouldn't be able to use it after all.

So, I decided to start a new project, and to do something on paper first and then find a way to incorporate it to the cardboard or piece of wood or something. Since I had used some materials I really liked and I didn't have more them (the Chinese paper with cute red flowers) I changed the palette. However, after working on this new piece for a quite a bit, I found out that the wilting effect was temporary!!! so now I had two pieces in the early stages of development, Sunday was gone and I didn't take any pictures of my work.

So, today my Dear Fi I came from work and started to work on the first project. Since it was already late, and dark outside, I decided not to worry about the fact that I will take some ugly pictures later. Instead I decided that during the weekend I will take some decent pictures with decent lighting and then I will repost them. But for today this is what I have.

I don't know what to say now, except it really feels weird and kind of unbelievable that I am posting the last step today. When we started this project I actually never thought about the end ha, ha. There are so many things I would like to thank you for my Dear Fi!!! I will try to downsize it to a few "main" things - otherwise I wouldn't have a chance to sleep tonight ;) he, he.

First of all I would like to thank you for agreeing to do this project with me, it was one of my dreams and you've helped me to realise it. That is huge!.

Second, thank you for showing up every week and for being so patient with me. I really have no idea how you managed with me being late so many times, with not having time to comment on your post properly (by the way this is what I'm planning to do on Tuesdays now ha, ha). Most of all, I really don't know how you could stand my whining and complaining for the entire year!!! You must be a saint! I really appreciate that you were so understanding of my weekly failures... and being here on time - you have no idea how much it motivated me to keep going despite of all the time when I felt guilty and bad about not managing to post. Thank you.

Third, I had so much fun and excitement every week with you Dear Fi! You've inspired me and surprised so many times with your projects, innovations and creativity!!! and you know that I loved reading all the stories you've shared here.

I am really glad and grateful that we did it together, Dear Fi. I am also proud of us ha, ha.

I have learned a lot about myself during this year, about the way I create, about some of my limitations, and the things that excite me the most. I also did some exploring and some "deepening" in using various media. The one thing I confirmed for myself is the fact that I cannot live without creating - the quality of my life is not the same without art in it. I might not post my paintings anymore but I will still paint, experiment, search, try, explore and create - that I am sure of. I've noticed that I feel more brave and confident now, than I felt when we started this blog. After all, it feels good to have completed this project (and who knows what is waiting for us around the corner?!).

So, thank you again Dear Fi for journeying with me for the past year, it had been an extraordinary experience!!!

Love :***

Sylvia

P.S.
Do not forget to FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!

UPDATE!

Dear Fi,

It's Sunday February 6th... and instead of reposting the pictures I decided to add a few of hopefully better quality. Last Tuesday felt weird...I still cannot come around to the fact that we are done. It will probably take me a while to adjust ;) During this week I found another gift of our 52 steps. It was my hope that our project would help me to develop the habit of finding the time to create at least on a weekly basis and I already did a small project yesterday. I really had the need to create, hopefully it won't change ;)

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Fifty Two: A not so 'grand' finale!

2011-01-25T08:16:00.001-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

What can I say, except, "Oh. Dear!" ha ha ha ha ha ha! :-)

I guess I should have known that today would turn out like this. Not only have I not had time to plan what I was going to do for the "grand finale", neither did I have time to shop for materials. So, when I sat down this morning to create my last post, I drew a complete blank. I had nothing! Panic!

An hour later and I still had no idea, but really liked the look of this adorable tutorial, by Lynn Roberts. She made the cutest little birdie, complete with a tiny heart, peeping out from his front pocket.

I really, really wanted to make one for you, as a little present to say thank you for being you and for sharing so much on this blog for the past year.

There is no way, back at the beginning, that I could have realised how much of an impact this blog would have on me, or how much I would enjoy meeting here every week. I feel so privileged to have been able to share this space with you and been given an insight into your art and mind through it.

As an added bonus, I feel like creativity has become a part of my everyday life. I'm constantly dreaming of new projects and stockpiling ideas... and for once, the ideas happen and 'things' get created, rather than drifting around in my head, or being entirely forgotten.

So, thank you, thank you!

Back to my last ~~disaster~~ Step.

:-)

You would have thought I would have learned by now, that I should make sure I have all of the materials before I begin a project.

Uh. Not so.

I DES-perately wanted some cute material to work with, but I had nothing. Not even any cute dresses I could cut up! heee! I really was getting that desperate! :-) I was cursing the decision I made at the end of last year, when I visited Liberty's in London and decided not to buy a bunch of beautiful fabric scraps to use for craft projects. I KNEW I would be able to use them somehow, but had just gone through a big decluttering phase and was trying to keep the amount of "stuff" I had to a minimum. So, I didn't buy them.

Dumbest. Decision. Ever. :-)

So today, I ended up using fabric scraps and a beautiful, cashmere sweater that was given to me that I've never worn. And, well, the project slowly went from horrible to worse! I'm not even going to get into the nightmare I discovered when trying to sew the knitted jersey - it just took on a life of its own... or how I messed up the heart to the point where I had to blanket stitch around the edge to hide the holes... ha ha!

So, I have decided dearest Sylwi, that I am using today as a "test run" and that I shall buy some fabric especially for this project and make you a sweet and beautiful bird; a gift that I can be proud of giving and one that you won't feel like you have to hide in your bottom drawer (or conveniently lose in the trash can!) :-))))

Let's call it "abstract, modern art" and leave it at that! ;-)

And, in the pocket next to the heart, there's a little note! I wanted to use the letters S.Y.L.W.I. somehow, but sewing them seemed a little advanced in light of my other sewing disasters today... so, I began thinking of adjectives that describe you beginning with those letters ... but I couldn't think for the life of me of anything beginning with 'Y'... yellow... yearbook... yodel... yak... ! Eek! :-) "Youthful" will have to do! ha ha!

soulful, senTimental, wonderful, sensual, warm, serene, sincere, wondrous, sacred, youtHful, strong, soft, legendary, sweet, intuitive, loveAble, sexy, special, integrity (what on earth is the adjective for integrity?!), lumiNous, lustrous, sparKling, wise, legacy-leaver, womanlY, saintly, inspiratiOnal, innovative, independent, indUstrious, spiritual, intellectual and a true superwoman!

Lots and lots of love to you,
Fi
xx

Step Fifty One: The last ten minute painting ;)

2011-01-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Fi,

I had great plans to do something "special" for the last two posts. However, it took me so long to finally finish writing my paper, that before I knew it the weekend was gone. The week started and now every morning I head to work at the women's shelter, and I come back in the evening to eat dinner, put the kids to bed and fall asleep with them ;)

BTW, I love my new practicum, I've only been there since last week but every day I learn so many things, I cannot believe how much there is to learn!!! That's so exciting! The less exciting part is the fact that when I come back from work I do not have much energy left.

So, today I've decided to make the ten minute painting because it was the only way to be here and post, and because it will be the last one ;) I hope I will have some time during the weekend to prepare my last post. I have no clue what it might be. I'm curious how our journey will "end". However, I do not believe in endings - I believe in change and transformation instead ;)

So, My Dear Fi, see you next week for the Grand Finale :) ha, ha

Love :*
Sylvia

P.S.
I love your crochet flowers, I have no idea how you were able to make them??!! Do you remember my attempt at crochet? Your flowers are the masterpieces in comparison to Danbo's eco-bag!
P.S.
BTW, great title for the post ha, ha. I love it!

Step Fifty One: Revenge of the Mutant Crochet Flowers...

2011-01-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Step Fifty ONE??! Eek! I'm excited and a bit sad it's coming to an end. :-)

Whilst I was creating my Step today, I began to wonder how on earth I am going to find the motivation to create anything, once these 'Fifty Two Steps' finish next week?

I've stumbled and tripped my way through this year, experimenting and playing, but only because I had a weekly deadline and rendez-vous with you. Without you, I would have let every excuse get in the way of making time for being creative.

I really don't know what this next year is going to be like; whether I'll continue experimenting, or if I'll let things slide and rarely break out the art materials. I know I've done one thing this year, though - I've certainly conquered my fear of creating things... I've learned to block out that voice in my head, the one that used to make me give up on an idea, before I even began.

Although, today, maybe I should have listened to that voice! heee! ;-)

With only two Steps left, I knew one of them had to be an attempt at crochet. I tried it before for a Step, but it was such a disaster, I couldn't bring myself to post the pictures. Ha! Today though, I was determined to post whatever the results turned out to be.

Using a little pamphlet on crochet that my Mum gave me a couple of years ago, I learned how to do a basic chain stitch.

That bit seemed simple enough, so I (foolishly) :-) decided I needed something more challenging to post.

So, I searched for crochet flower tutorials on YouTube. None of the tutorials there were basic enough, so I ended up having to ping back and forth between several different tutorials, to try and work out how on earth to make the flowers. I guess it didn't help that the tutorials were for different types of flowers. (ahem!)

I was dissatisfied with the first flower I made, so I made another... and then another ... annnnd another...

Each one was as bad as the last, but for a different reason. :-)

I decided on one last attempt. One last flower. I would concentrate really, really hard and surely it would turn out perfect?!?

... or not.

*long sigh*

ha ha ha ha ha ha! :-)

See you back here next week, for one last Step. {sob}! ;-)

Lots and lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Fifty: Zenpatterndoodles ;-)

2011-01-11T08:51:00.001-07:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Yikes! Step Fifty?! :-)

{... and actually, I'm even closer to the finish than that! This is really Step Fifty One, as I'm still missing a post from a couple of weeks ago!}

Today, I needed to create something where I could just zone out. The last few weeks (and in fact, end of last year, too) were so busy and stressful, that I wanted to find something that I enjoyed doing, but that didn't need a lot of brain power!

I find that doodling patterns (particularly strong, geometric ones) provides peace and the ability to completely switch off, so that's where today started.

I found a pattern I liked in amongst these free ones (which I found online here) ...

... and set about drawing it freehand on brown paper with white paint. There's something about the brown and white combination that I really love.

Once I'd spent some time drawing the pattern ... I could feel all of the stress beginning to disappear as I doodled :-) ... I decided I wanted to use the pattern to make something. So, I searched for tutorials for Japanese paper crafts.

I came across an amazing tutorial for Japanese Papercraft Boxes on The Evil Mad Scientist blog and knew I had to try it. The tutorial is so precise and clear and they have even included a free template for the box...

... and this is how it turned out!

... and because I can't leave well enough alone, I added a quick bow that I made from left over Christmas ribbon :-)

I know you're really busy this week, writing your last paper. I hope it's all going very smoothly and that you'll soon be finished. Can't wait to see your penultimate Step, when you get a moment to do it... and then there will be ONLY ONE LEFT!!!! :-)

(I'll try and catch up this week with the post I missed. Sorry it's taking so long!)

Lots and lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Fifty: A little garland with my word for 2011

2011-01-04T22:49:00.002-07:00

Happy Blissful New Year my Dear Fi!

Can you guess my word for 2011 from the picture above?

Hint: It has five letters... Ha, ha!

For the last week of 2010 the word "playful" was on my mind. Probably because the year 2010 was quite challenging for me; too much stress, too much complaining, tiredness, seriousness, and whining. So the word "playful" for 2011 seemed like a winner ;) But then I woke up on the first of January and the word was gone... together with the whole idea of choosing a word for a year.

I was quite surprised by this shift. Not only did I not feel that I wanted to stick with the word "playful", but I also didn't feel any need for choosing a word anymore. But then as my day went by a new word picked me...

Alive.

There is a lot meaning behind this word {for me}. It is actually hard to grasp. I hope one day I will ;) I am not in the mood for sharing today and I do not want to write a deep reflection here. Simply put, it is a powerful and vibrant word for me, especially because lately I felt so drained that now I am drawn in the opposite direction. I want to be alive and feel alive!

What I like about this word the most is that aliveness requires having energy but it is not about doing, it is more about being, feeling, experiencing... Being alive means also being in the moment and appreciate and agree on whatever life brings. Being alive is a gift. At least this is what it means for me.

I had many ideas for illustrating the word "playfulness" since I spent some time with this word already. However, the ideas did not transfer well to my new word. Yet, I wanted to do something to connect with this word, and to have some tangible representation, so I could just look at it and be reminded of the direction I am heading.

I woke up this morning with the thought of doing a small garland with my word. I didn't have much time for today's project. I have scheduled too many appointments before my new practicum starts, so I was in and out for the entire day. When I finally finished the garland it was late for taking good pictures and I wished you could send your friend over to teach me some brilliant lessons on lighting ;)

Did you pick your word for 2011?

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Forty Nine: Raw chocolate Christmas bonbons

2011-01-04T11:09:00.002-07:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Happy New Year!!!! I hope 2011 is full of love and light and dreams coming true... and lots of time for creative adventures, too!

As mentioned in my last post, I had initially hoped to cook some Christmas cookies for a Step at the end of last year. However, food guilt set in over Christmas :-))) and I made a promise to myself, that instead of a holiday completely filled with refined sugars and dairy, I would teach myself to make one raw food treat.

This recipe came from a book that I was given as a Christmas present, called 'Naked Chocolate' by Shazzie and David Wolfe. It's a recipe for fudge squares, made from nuts, dates, coconut and cacao nibs.

To make the fudge look a little more treat-like, I rolled each square into a ball and then covered it in either shredded coconut, or raw cacao powder.

They tasted very good... not "excellent", but pretty darn good for my first adventure with raw treats. I'm looking forward to improving on the recipe a little.

My ultimate goal is to invent raw treats that will taste soooo good, that everyone will like them... even friends who don't really understand the whole raw food concept and think it's all a bit crazy! :-) I shall certainly know I've achieved that, when my husband likes them!

Today's Step was really two creative adventures in one. Not only did I make the treats, I also persuaded a photographer friend to show me how to light my pictures. I styled these pics, with the Christmas tree behind and an old, wooden, chopping board that belonged to my Grannie... and then I ran out of props! (and began dreaming of trips to Paris, to browse flea markets for pretty ceramic plates and saucers!)

In the end, I just made a quick origami gift box, using these instructions. In hindsight, I should probably have left it out of the shot, but I hadn't really planned the shot, it just kind of fell together... so, well, that's why there's a weird paper box in there! heeee! :-)

I learned so much about lighting today. We played around with lighting the bonbons from the front, then the side and then from slightly behind. The pics I liked most, were lit from slightly behind. It seemed to give the bonbons much more shape.

I'm exhausted from all of the work. This was supposed to take a couple of hours and ended up taking far longer! Especially when you're trying to take the pic and a curious and hungry puppy sneaks into the background of the shot...

... so, you shoo them out of the shot, run back to the camera and take another pic, only to discover ANOTHER curious and hungry puppy, attracted by all of the noise... and then the chocolately smell wafting down off the counter, has sneaked in to the vacant space...

:-))))

Lots and lots and lots of love to you! Happy, Happy, Happy New Year, sweetpea!

Step Forty Nine: A gift...

2010-12-31T18:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Fi,

As you can see I am very ~~desperate~~ determined to post this step before tomorrow ;) However, it is not so much about starting the New Year with a "clean slate" (for that, it would be more appropriate if I finished writing my paper... and if I had done it a long time ago ha, ha). I think it is more about a proper closure to 2010.

For the last post this year I decided to post pictures. No, not because I wanted to have one more step easily done ha, ha ;) As I was reflecting on this year, I realised how important photography has become in my life. Suddenly, I realised that for the last year and a half my life has become enriched by taking pictures in ways I would have never predicted.

While I was working on editing the pictures for this post I noticed how immersed I was in the creative process, how time does not matter, and how much I enjoyed experimenting. I finally admitted to myself that I like to take pictures and then to play with them; even though most of the time I have no clue what I am doing. Probably because of this "not-knowing" I feel free to experiment. I am not a photographer, I am an amateur and a learner, so I can allow more room for mistakes and less for criticism and self-judgment. This combination is so rare... it does not translate to my painting or writing...

So today my Dear Fi, I am posting digital pictures on purpose.

I was inspired by this shiny ornament I received from not so Secret Santa and wanted to capture the magic it brought to my life. So, I tried different things to do this. I took many pictures, I adjusted the object or my perspective, I waited for the light. But mostly, I was in a different world.

When I say that I become immersed in the process, I mean that I forget about everything else. I become very focused and I work quickly. I feel the excitement and some kind of "rush" or "high" ;) After downloading the pictures more fun begins. I can sit for hours with enormous patience and experiment. While playing with the pictures I disappear again. Time does not exist anymore. Doing this kind of work allows me to be playful and it is fun. I have been programmed to work hard, so taking pleasure in doing things that come easily to me seems like there is no value; like it is not "real" work. However, it is a joyful and exciting process for me... an undervalued gift...

As I said, I am not a photographer. In fact I have never owned any camera or took much pictures before our Unravelling class in summer 2009 (except for taking dull pictures of my cute children with my husband's camera). But I always wanted to have my own camera. For many years getting camera and learning how to operate it was my dream. I have my camera now and even though I still do not know how to use it at least I can experiment ;)

Through different projects I discovered that taking pictures nourishes my creativity, helps me to reflect on and to document my life. It is an instrument for my inner growth. Besides, Dear Fi, if not for photography we probably would have never "met".

I am grateful for this and I want to honour this today.

Love :*
Sylvia

P.S.
My Dear, I wish you a wonderful Year 2011!!!

Step Forty Eight: Homemade Christmas Cookies {Story in pictures}

2010-12-29T18:33:00.002-07:00

Dear Fi,

I won't write many words for this post. First of all I managed to make the cookies (with some help, as you will see!). Second, I took 169 photos of the entire process of creating, baking, decorating and displaying... Then I managed to choose!!! some of the photos, edit and resize them for the need of this post. So, I think it is justifiable to tell the story of making our first Christmas cookies in pictures ;)

What I can tell you though is:

1. We all had a great time through the entire process!!!
2. My children mastered the icing application {I was totally surprised how poor my skills were in comparison to theirs}.
3. The cookies turned out to be very tasty {even the ones with rainbow colours and variety of decorative sprinkles - I can attest because I ate ~~them all~~ a few of them}.
3. The recipe for the cookies came from Poland and my lovely aunt Teresa dictated the recipe to me via Skype.
4. I won't share it only because I don't feel like spending another half an hour translating the recipe {he, he}.
5. I would send you a few cookies, but you understand Dear Fi, that they would probably not survive the journey across the ocean. Anyway they did not last long here either. Extinction of the last one was captured here ;)

Love:*

Sylvia

P.S.

Ta-dam! The last picture!

Step Forty Seven: Flamenco Dancer

2010-12-29T14:21:00.002-07:00

Dear Fi,

It is hard to believe that December is almost over! Soon our 52 steps project will be over too... Three posts for December (for me) and three more weeks in January - that is all that is left... If there is one thing I've learned during our journey it is the fact that it is not hard to create every week, what is hard, and what takes more time than the actual creation is writing, preparing photos, and publishing.

The pictures for my posts were imprisoned in my camera since my Mac died on me again (sic!!!) at the beginning of December and nobody had the time to take it somewhere to fix it. I uploaded all pictures to my cute but ~~small~~ ~~tiny~~ microscopic netbook which is not designed to work with pictures and it also doesn't have any programs for editing them. I spent a few hours trying to choose and edit the pictures for the step 47 and 48 {believe me painting and making Christmas cookies took me less time... ha, ha}.

In both cases when I finally finished my projects it was late and the last thing I wanted to do was to edit pictures and write about my work he, he. Unfortunately, most of the pictures I took were dark and I knew that it would take me ~~forever~~ additional time to fix it, unless I just give up on them and post them straight from my camera. But the pictures were huge, so I needed to resize them anyway... and with the end of semester (my practicum evaluation and papers writing) and with Christmas approaching... I just left everything as it was Dear Fi and I didn't post at all.

So, finally here I am posting my December posts.

The pictures below show the process of creating this painting. The title comes from my husband {at a certain point this is what he saw in this painting and as he confirmed - he can still see the dancer in movement}. I wanted to play with the idea of covering colours with white, as I did in my other step. The reds and purples were "calling" me for a quite a bit lately, so I decided to use the strong colours as a background. I really enjoyed using a painting board for this project.

After finishing the background I chose various papers and covered them in gold, red and purple, I wanted to glue some paper scraps to my painting.

After tearing a few scraps and gluing them to the painting I started to cover the background in white. I also used some wooden tools to carve on the top of the white layer, so the background colours would show up. While painting I decided to add more scraps.

After covering the background in white I started to play with some pastels and paints to add some details.

Then I blended more colours to the top white layer.

{This is when my husband saw the painting and said that he sees a woman dancing and that apparently she is a Flamenco dancer ha, ha. Apparently, the gold scraps represent her hands in motion}.

At this point I didn't like the end effect (not because all I could see was the Flamenco dancer now!). I didn't like the gold scraps. They were too big. This is why trying to lessen their presence I added more stuff.

Too bad the pictures were taken late, because even with all that editing, the colours don't show properly. I'm not very happy with the end result. However, I was very happy with the process. I really enjoyed playing with all these various mediums and I really had fun while working on this piece.

I do not have a title for this piece, so this is why I used my husband's idea ha, ha. However, what I see in this painting is movement and aliveness, so somehow it might represent "A Dance of Life" ;)

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Forty Six: Tree

2010-12-28T22:25:00.001-07:00

Dear Fi,

My plan for today was to post all of my December posts. Yes, that was the plan. However, there were also other things I wanted to do today too ;) It is late, we just came back from our anniversary dinner and are supposed to watch a movie together. So, all I can do is to try to post as much as I can. I have four posts ready to upload and publish, if I can just post this one today it will be great.

The picture above is one of my old drawings I found a few weeks ago and decided to bring back to life. I wanted to draw it with black ink or marker and then add some colours here and there. As you can see (below) it didn't go according to my plan ha, ha, ha. I just drew the tree and then ran out of time and decided to leave it as it was.

I hope that you had a great time and survived the Christmas craziness with a smile, this is what I was trying to do for the last couple of weeks. I didn't want to take a break from our steps, but I had no time for posting, and I still have one more paper to finish... However, I want badly to update my steps before the new year, so see you soon!!!

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Forty Eight: Unwinding after a hectic Christmas! :-)

2010-12-28T09:46:00.004-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

Again, I've missed a week! I crept onto our blog today to make my apologies and post... and then had to laugh when I realised you were late again too! Phew! Well, tis the season to be rushed off your feet, so what were we thinking when we said no to a little blog holiday?!

Anyway, I'm actually glad today that we said 'no!' as it forced me to do something creative when I would otherwise have been in bed sound asleep! ;-) I feel much better for having squeezed this Step in!

Last week, as you know, I was going to make Christmas cookies. When I finally did find the time though, it was too late! I'd already made a half commitment to myself to eat better and baking sugary sweets doesn't figure in that resolution. When I say 'half commitment', I'm sort of at the planning stages right now (I'm still eating an awful lot of rubbish!) but when it came to cookies my guilty conscience got the better of me. So, no cookies for last week's Step. I'll have to think of something else instead. Maybe I can find a raw cookie/cake recipe and try that instead. So, last week's Step is still outstanding... I shall post it this week (I hope!) ;-)

This week, I was looking for something quick and colourful and I found exactly that on the lovely "HonestlyWTF" blog. They've created a very cool tutorial for making friendship bracelet necklaces and I was instantly smitten by the gorgeous styling and photography of their post.

They recommend using two colours and making multiple strands. With no time to spare, I decided to do four colours on one strand! hee! ;-) So, I found a scrap of rope that began life as a handle on a bag and began winding four different colours of embroidery thread around it.

The results are gorgeous and I only wish I had longer to make others, or to turn this into something... but it's the holidays and I don't. But Yee Har! I posted something... finally! :-)))

Lots and lots and lots and lots of love to you. Hope you're having a superb Christmas! Speak sooooon!
Fi
xx

Step Forty Seven: Origami Christmas Tree

2010-12-15T07:00:00.001-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

This week, I began with one idea and ended up with a completely different version of it!

For a while now, I've been fascinated by Fair Isle knitting patterns. I wanted to paint my snowflake the other week with this pattern. In fact, I wanted to paint several snowflakes with different patterns and hang them in a garland, but papier-mâché didn't turn out to be my strongest skill (ha!) and time ran out!

So, this week, I thought I'd do a simple origami Christmas tree, but use paper that I'd painted with various Fair Isle patterns to fold the tree with. Again, time ran out! Grrr! So, with no time to paint, instead, I decided to keep it simple and just make a quick origami card.

First, I folded the tree, following this origami Christmas tree tutorial that I found on "Ish" blog. It's a wonder that I got around to anything else today, once I started scrolling through Carole's beautiful blog. It's fairly addictive, browsing through all of her inspiration and ideas!

For the tree topper, I then followed this great star tutorial on the 'Extreme Cards and Papercrafting' website (where I got very distracted by a whole host of other brilliant tutorials that I'd also like to try!)

As the pentagon for the star needs to be cut out perfectly, in order to not mess up the paper folding later, I found one on Google here and traced it, just to be certain that my edges were all straight.

A bit of glue and some sparkly hearts later and ta-dahhh!

Nothing like the pretty picture I had in my head when I began, but at least I created something. And I'm FINALLY back up to date with my posts. Yahoo! :-)

I know you're busy this week, but hope you're still managing to have some fun in the run up to Christmas.
Lots and lots and lots of love to you.

Fi
xx

Step Forty Six: Some good news! :-)

2010-12-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

I'm not only behind with my Steps, but also with this 'congratulations!' card that I should have sent off a few weeks ago!

A very special friend of mine announced that he and his wife are expecting a baby next year! Awww! So, here's the card I made for them this afternoon out of brown paper, red embroidery thread, white paint and a pencil!

The Mum-To-Be is Polish, so I was wondering if you could give me some help writing it?! Or, at least, what is the word for "congratulations!" in Polish? :-)

{ Almost caught up with my Steps. One more to do this week. I won't be posting it today though. I haven't even decided what I'm doing for it yet! ha ha! But I will post it sooooooooooon! ;-) }

Lots and lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Forty Five: A slight obsession with snowflakes!

2010-12-14T07:33:00.004-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

Good Grief! What a few weeks?! I have no clue where time went, but it WENT! And fast. Hopefully, I can catch up with my missed posts today... that's the plan anyway!

I've missed being here. I'm so glad you were here instead, though. I dropped in to read your posts and they cheered me up no end!

I did actually make this week's Step during the correct week, but it went so horribly wrong (ha ha! I think I say that every week!) that I didn't want to upload it. I wanted to take some time to better it and ... well, then... the week's flew past and I completely missed last week's post, so I realised, that I have to upload it ... in all of its imperfect glory! ;-)

So, here it is! Snowflakes again! I'm obsessed with them.

Somewhere on the web {which of course, I can't find now I want to give credit! I'll keep looking and add in the link, when I find it!} somebody blogged about a project they did where they cut 2 identical letters out of cardboard, stuffed in between them with paper and then covered them with papier-mâché! The result was large, solid letters that could be painted.

I thought I'd get adventurous and try the same technique with snowflakes. I had a zillion ideas buzzing around my head about how to do them and how I could paint them and even lots of different ideas for how I would use them... garlands for the Christmas tree or fireplace, window decorations, gift tags, hanging mobiles and so on! :-)

It all started out quite well. I cut out a typical snowflake shape from cardboard twice...

... and glued on little rolled up pieces of tissue paper for the stuffing.

I then glued on the second piece of cardboard and was ready to begin with the papier-mâché.

... which is (a) where it all began to go wrong and (b) where I forgot (in my panic) to take any pictures of the unfolding disaster! heeeee! ;-)

I quickly realised my snowflake was far too small for wrapping wet, gluey newspaper around! It would have been much easier to wrap a larger snowflake. It was very fiddly and quickly became a bit too wet and mushy!

I'm sure if I had more patience, or skill (this is my first time with the papier-mâché technique) that I could have made this work, but I was really beginning to get quite annoyed! Not least, because it was all taking so long. I'd forgotten that each layer needs to dry before you can apply the next.

I didn't get around to painting or collaging it - apart from a quick, messy coat of white. And so, this is where my snowflake adventure ended. A hugely time-consuming project for... well... a bit of a disappointing result. However, I did learn infinite amounts about papier-mâché and its (or should I say, "my") limitations...

... and despite the mess, I did actually really enjoy the project, for the most part! Although, I think I'll stick to buying my Christmas decorations in future! ha ha! :-)

Lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Forty Five: Crochet challenge

2010-11-30T00:50:00.002-07:00

Dear Fi,

Crochet was on my 2010 list, and on my 52 steps list, and popped up from time to time in my thoughts during the year. To be honest, I didn’t think I would give it a try. I like to learn new things but it is more manageable when the circumstances are favorable ha, ha. I mean: time and peace of mind instead of hectic schedule, evaluations and the end of the semester. Also, I suspect that it is much easier to work with decent supplies... so this is why I won’t mention the brand of the kit I purchased for my first ever crochet endeavor. Of course I didn’t expect great quality while buying a kit for an 8 year old girl. However, I honestly expected some clear and simple instructions.

I WAS WRONG!!!

It took me forever to start the first chain, and believe me it was not with the help of an illustration or any instructions. It was because of the five minutes of trying and trying very hard ha, ha. So, after the first five minutes I knew that instead of presenting you one of those cute, beautiful and colourful squares (I see and admire here and there in the blogosphere) I would need to try my best to proceed with the simplest chain square.

However...

Things went wrong ha, ha.

I would love to blame that plastic crochet hook and the cheap sample of yarn included in this set, however we both know that it would be silly he, he.

So I watched how the supposed square becomes shapeless the more I try to “fix” it... When the square starts to remind of a small circle I invited Danbo and promised to make a cute winter hat for him.

What did I think???

That I would have time to crochet throughout the night to keep my careless promise?

Poor Danbo he was so excited!

To save face I tried to outsmart myself. Can you guess how?

Can you guess now? Ha, ha!

So, instead of a cool and cute winter hat for Danbo I ended up with a formless purplish red old-fashioned bag Barbie wouldn’t ever wear...

As you can see below my lovely Danbo was quite disappointed with the outcome too... Despite of his dissatisfaction he agreed to pose with the bag.

I took many pictures of him with the hope of capturing a better grin on his face...

with no success...

Ha, ha :)

Love :*

Sylvia

P.S.

Despite of this unsuccessful “first attempt” with crochet I can tell you that even with that poor effect I really enjoyed it. So, learning crochet will definitely end up on my 2011 list. Preferably thought by somebody, hopefully by somebody with tones of patience ;)

Step Forty Four: A postcard from the sweat lodge

2010-11-29T22:07:00.001-07:00

Dear Fi,

You might remember (or not ha, ha) that I’m currently enrolled in First Nation Healing Practices class at the U of C (I need to pinch myself from time to time because this is my last class towards my degree and sometimes I cannot believe that I’m almost done!). Because of this class on November 21st I had the opportunity to participate in a traditional Blackfoot sweat lodge ceremony.

In short: it was a HOT and AMAZING experience.

I agree with Ed McGaa who wrote that “[w]hile the sweat lodge itself is simple to describe, it is beyond any mortal writer’s ability to adequately convey the ultimate culmination of spiritual, mystical, and psychic expression of the Sweat Lodge Ceremony. Everyone that I have seen experience [it] agrees wholeheartedly: the Sweat Lodge Ceremony is impossible to describe fully. You have to experience it to truly realize its fullness and depth”.

Dear Fi, it would be really hard to try to describe what happened to me as I was sweating through approximately three hours (with breaks of course!) and yet I would like to share this experience with you somehow...

So I hope that the paintings below will help.

The first painting illustrates my perception before the sweat lodge. I didn’t actually paint it before the “sweat” but as I had been working on this post I realised that the process of transformation of this painting would be a perfect illustration of a change that happened “in me”.

The second piece is a “new view”, an alignment in perceiving myself, my life, and the whole world after the ceremony... and as you can see, Dear Fi, the adjustment is quite huge ha, ha ;)

It truly is...

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Forty Three: Work in progress

2010-11-29T21:55:00.001-07:00

Dear Fi,

I was quite surprised to unravel the story behind this piece. I wonder how it works that some of the creative expressions bring these kinds of metaphorical interpretations? Maybe I’m just approaching a mid-life crisis ha, ha ;)

When I teared out page number 25 from this little book to use it for my post a thought about tabula rasa appeared to me. When I was younger the idea of being born as a “blank slate” was very appealing to me. With years I realised that I do not agree with it anymore. Despite of whether one believes in previous lives or not we spend around nine months in our mother’s uterus - so when we push our way through to enter the world we already have some words written on our page. Even if we do not understand the language, even if we cannot comprehend and make meaning we experienced “something” already. Ok, Dear Fi don’t be nervous I’m not going further with my philosophy ;)

The point of this intro was to describe the picture of the book above. We arrive to this world as a piece of a bigger whole with an inscription in our souls.

Then... life happens and naturally we paint the page while “experiencing our life”. It would be impossible to find exactly the same painting, each one is unique. Sometimes we might not like our creation, we might not understand the patterns, choice of colours and the meaning of our paintings. We might keep going even if we have no clue where are we heading...

After a while (or for some very early on) our page tears here and there and it might even become broken in some places.

So we try our best to mend the page, to find meaning in what we are experiencing. We try to put our page together, by repairing it, understanding it or predicting what might work for us at the moment...

We try our best to mend our souls.

Love :*

Sylvia

P.S.

Sometimes we might make peace with our life, or even feel in love with our creation. Ha, ha ;)

Step Forty Four: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2010-11-23T02:25:00.000-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

Ever since I saw your Step Six on creating stamps, I've wanted to have a go myself!

Last week, I ordered the rubber stamp material and a carving tool and was thrilled when it arrived in time for this week's Step!

Inspiration for my stamps this week, came from the extraordinary website of Wilson A. Bentley, Snowflake Bentley, in the shape of images like these...

By adapting his camera to work with a microscope, back in 1885, Wilson Bentley became the first person to photograph a snowflake.

He went on to take more than 5,000 photos of snowflakes during his life, forming a collection of exquisite images, all of them different. It's really an extraordinary collection!

"Under the microscope, I found that snowflakes were miracles of beauty; and it seemed a shame that this beauty should not be seen and appreciated by others. Every crystal was a masterpiece of design and no one design was ever repeated., When a snowflake melted, that design was forever lost. Just that much beauty was gone, without leaving any record behind."

~ Wilson "Snowflake" Bentley, 1925

First, I traced the snowflake in pencil, simplifying its shape, ready to carve...

I transferred the pencil snowflake onto the stamping mat by placing the drawing, pencil-side down and rubbing the back of the tracing paper with a ruler.

When I began carving, I realised I didn't have quite the right tools for the job. I didn't realise the cutters came in different designs! My cutter had a hook on the end and was quite large, whereas I think yours (and Gennine's) were almost like thin scoops?

I was too far down the line to back out, though. I used the smallest blade in the pack, but it was a bit too clunky for the delicate design of the snowflake. However, I did the best I could!

I had meant to do three, but ran out of time! :-) So, two it was...

I used the stamps to cheer up a gift tag, the outside of an envelope and also, created a liner for an envelope.

I found fantastic instructions for envelope liners here, at Paper Source. They sell liner templates, but I just created my own.

Have you had any snow yet? None for us here, but the temperature has really dropped and is set to plummet further over the coming days, with a possibility of a dusting of snow! Yipee!

Well, when I say "plummet", I mean we might get into single digits! Gee we might even hit zero! ha ha!

I think "plummet" is more what it does on your side of the Atlantic! :-)

Lots and lots and lots of love

Step Forty Three: Layering Paper

2010-11-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

There's so much I want to write for this post, but my eyes are so tired, I'm going to take it easy and make a list instead!

I found out this week that the reason I've been getting so many headaches and sore eyes is that I have a little inflammation in both eyes, but also, that I'm becoming long-sighted! After 38 years of perfect vision, my eyes are beginning to fail me! So, I'm going to have to get reading glasses. Till then (and till the inflammation clears up), I'm trying to spend as much time offline as I can. I debated not posting today, but habit kicked in and I thought I'd do a quick upload. It's all a bit scrappy, quite frankly, but never mind! hee! ;-)

Anyway, here's the list...

The pros:

- this is something I've wanted to try with paper for a while
- I found this beautiful vintage flower pattern in a great free source of embroidery patterns online, so I could get on with cutting, rather than trying to design my own flowers first
- I really enjoyed embossing the paper and layering it
- using tiny little adhesive foam pads to build up the layers of paper worked really well
- I'd like to continue exploring other ideas with this technique. Not sure what exactly!
- I really enjoy working with brown parcel paper.

... but...

The cons:

- I'm not sure I like the contrast of white paper against the brown (although, I've discovered that I love white paint on brown paper!)
- I loved the first flower in the centre, but as I kept adding to it, I started to dislike it! It started out much better than it finished! ha ha!
- it doesn't look that great from the side, as you can see the foam stickers behind the flowers
- I'm too tired to play around with lighting to take a photo of it tonight. I hope you can kind of work out what I was trying to do
- I had intended to do the black bits with thread, but had no time, so just inked them! (cheat! ha!)

Sorry to hear you had such a rough week last week. I'll be back to write much more tomorrow and to comment properly on your post.

Hope you're okay. Lots and lots of love,

Step Forty Two: Stomach flu, a funeral, and tears...

2010-11-14T22:07:00.001-07:00

Dear Fi,

Last Tuesday I tried to recover from a stomach flu (which attacked my entire family), from a few sleepless nights, from writing an existential and very personal paper, and from the funeral I attended that day.

I didn’t want to think about anything that day. After the funeral I came home, lied down in bed and fell asleep, for the first time since Friday. I woke up on Wednesday morning...

On Tuesday I saw tears everywhere. All I could think for this post was a paper full of tears. I imagined tiny tears on a silver wire, black tears falling down from a white paper, layers of tears hanging out from a celling, and tears of various sizes dancing on a wall. I knew I wouldn’t manage to do something time consuming so I just drew a few tears in my notebook during my break at work and that was all I could do.

The clouds of thoughts surrounded me that day and I couldn't free myself from thinking. All I wanted was to have a still mind, with no thoughts flowing, with no movement - just peaceful stillness. And maybe some clarity instead of the foggy confusion about the whole Universe and the purpose of my tiny life.

With years I’ve noticed that these “things” always escalate in my life around my birthday...

“Awareness is the key. Do we see the stories that we’re telling ourselves and question their validity? When we are distracted by strong emotion, do we remember that it is our path? Can we feel the emotion and breathe it into our hearts for ourselves and everyone else? If we can remember to experiment like this even occasionally, we are training as a warrior. And when we can’t practice when distracted but know that we can’t, we are still training well. Never underestimate the power of compassionately recognizing what’s going on.” {Pema Chödrön}

I’m trying to experiment for the last 38 years and still mostly fail miserably every day but I keep experimenting anyway ;)

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Forty Two: The World's Most Evil Cartoon Character ;-)

2010-11-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Dearest Sylwi

Today, I had intended to try out Cyanotype, a method of photographic printing using UV light that produces beautiful, blue prints. However, it turned out to be a very unco-operative, grey, November day. The sun appeared briefly this afternoon, but not for long enough to try printing, so I had to come up with a Plan B!

I decided instead to try something I've wanted to do for ages, but have been putting off through fear! Creating a cartoon character. :-)

Last week, I signed up for Nanowrimo intending to write a novel about my rescue dog. I do, as you know, have plenty ~~to scream about~~ of stories to tell on that subject! After only 3 days and 4,500 words though, I ran out of steam! :-( I literally couldn't think of one more single word to write about her! :-)

I did begin to think, though, that rather than trying to force her unwillingly into a novel, she would make a funny subject for a comic strip. Drawing out her naughtiness could be a good (healthy) way for me to vent my anger. ;-)

I searched on the t'internet for lessons on cartoon drawing and came across this superb book, "Cartoon Animation (The Collectors' Series')" by Preston Blair and before I knew it, it had arrived in my post box! Damn that "one click!" feature on Amazon! :-)

So, for today's Step, I set about coming up with a cartoon character for my dog... more commonly known as "that damn Shelter Dog!"

It was sooooo hard to draw her face. Oh my goodness. I drew and drew and drew and hated all of them. None of them looked anything like her. So, I decided to stop trying to do the hardest bit first and drew her body, closely following the instructions in Blair's book.

Ok, so ignore the face! That looks nothing like her! The body, I took from the instructions at the top of this pic - you can just see them at the top right. You draw 3 circles for the body, then 4 ovals as paws and then just connect them to create a dog.

It was amazing to see it all coming together in front of me. Me, who can't draw, drew that there (shelter) dog. Yes, it took me ages, but gee! It was fun! :-)

I changed the paws and legs a bit to make them more like my pup's, but otherwise it was just a direct copy of Blair's body. This totally captures my pup when she's in trouble, though. That stance - hee hee! That is HER through and through!

The body was relatively simple, but I took FOREVER to draw her face! After ages of frustrating drawing and rubbing out, I took a break for an hour... and when I came back, I sat down and drew her face first time!

Then it was time to crack open the watercolours and get to the fun bit, the colouring in...

I was really pleased with it ... and then I took another break for an hour. When I came back, I realised that her nose was the wrong shape... and if she was slinking around like this after being bad, both of her ears would be pinned flat to her head...

So, there's still a lot of work to be done to create her. I really loved playing with this today, though. Using ink and watercolour (even though I don't really know how to paint with watercolour, or understand how to create shadows yet) was sooooo much fun.

How on earth cartoonists draw comic strips though, I'll never understand. It took me so long to come up with just this... I couldn't imagine how long it would take to write a whole strip! :-)

Ten Steps to go. Yikes! How quickly a year goes past! Can't wait to see what you come up with this week (if you have any time?!) :-)

Lots and lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Forty One: Halloween edition ;)

2010-11-02T23:37:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

I almost gave up on today’s post. After coming back from work I did everything to avoid thinking about any ideas I could use today. Mostly because I spent my weekend and Monday writing my paper, then I went to work and it felt like I hadn’t had a break from “doing stuff”. Honestly, I thought that I should take it easy and postpone my post. Then I remembered that I will be writing another paper next weekend and if I don’t post today I’m sure I won’t be able to post next week. This approach didn’t help me much - it actually made me feel even more flat ;)

So, I started to consider some ideas. I thought about something Halloweenish ha, ha, like for example transforming my kids into cute bats ;) This led me to Shona Cole’s book “The Artistic Mother” and the lovely idea of changing her children into fairies ;) So I picked up the book (which, BTW features two of my favourite mixed media artists Misty Mawn and Corey Moortgat) and I tried to decide if the project is doable with the limited time I have.

I tried to be strong rather than realistic and decided to start the project. So right away I wasted about two hours trying to find pictures of my children’s faces!!! I couldn’t believe that I do not have any nice portraits I could use for this post. Their faces were either to far, or too blurry, or in motion, or not the right angle, or covered with something (ice cream, lollypop, hand...). At some point I just took whatever I had available, cropped and printed it out.

However, since it was super late I didn’t put any thought and attention into choosing the papers and colours, I didn’t even bother to use some stable paper, just regular printing paper. So it took me two hours to find the pictures and about 30 minutes to make these fairies ha, ha. This is what I call the “desperado technique” he, he.

So, now I’m heading to bed and I promise I will comment on your two last lovely posts as soon as I can!!!

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Forty One: A Spooktacular Pumpkin Garland! ;-)

2010-11-02T09:21:00.005-06:00

Dearest Sylwi

This week I decided to do something Halloween themed. I wasn't going to bother, as it's a couple of days late, but today when I sat down to create, I changed my mind.

I sprained my ankle last week, so had a very boring weekend. I spent it propped up on the sofa, with my ankle on ice and I feel as though I completely missed the fun of Halloween. I didn't go out and we weren't visited by any guisers, so it almost feels like it didn't happen! :-(

My initial idea was to create Jack-O'-Lanterns, using old tin cans with holes cut in them and tea lights inside. The idea might work, but it quickly became apparent that it wasn't going to work for me today! I made a big ol' mess of a tin and the edges were extremely jaggy and dangerous, so I decided to try something a little easier! :-)

I know I made paper garlands a few weeks ago, but for some reason, I didn't get them out of my system! :-)

I tried cutting a paper chain of pumpkins, but by the time I had folded the paper, concertina style and attempted to cut through all of the layers, I realised it was too fiddly.

So, I cut a very basic pumpkin shape instead and individually drew on the details and faces. I thought at first it was going to be too much work and very boring indeed, but drawing different faces on each pumpkin turned out to be so much fun. More fun than pumpkin carving (where you only get one shot to carve the face) and nowhere near as messy!

After I had drawn the faces, I cut out some stalks and quilled some thin strips of green to make spindly tendrils...

... and then glued them to my pumpkin heads.

*Eep!* "Please don't give me a hideous hairstyle like the others..."

I didn't have time to create a pretty set up over which to hang my pumpkin garland...

... which unfortunately meant that the above photo looked fairly boring!

I'm determined that just once during these 52 Steps, I'm going to create a properly styled backdrop for one of my photos! :-)

But, not today!! :-))

However, I did put some effort in and tried to jazz up my pumpkins a bit, by using them as a gift wrap tie.

I'm so glad I did this today! I now feel like Halloween happened and the Jack-O'-Lanterns and their different faces / personalities made me laugh as I drew them!

Right, I'm off to do some more work on the novel I'm writing! {mwah ha ha ha haaaaa!} Not really. I just like saying that!

Well, maybe sort of.

I AM writing a novel, but not one I ever think will be published. I've signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). The goal is to write a novel during the month of November - specifically 1,667 words every day, for 30 days, starting on the 1st of November.

Yesterday, I wrote 1,723 words and the high I experienced on finishing, verged on euphoric! :-) However, this morning, I wondered how I shall even write 100 more words on the same subject, let alone 1,667... for 29 more days! :-) ha!

{hee hee! Now, I know how you feel when you're writing your papers!!} ;-)

Whatever the outcome, it feels like a great way to squish my inner critic and write freely for once. To do, rather than just dream... a bit like this 52 Steps challenge! :-)

How was your Halloween? What did you get up to? Did the kids (and you!) love it?!

Lots of love
Fi

Step Forty: A step back in time!

2010-10-26T08:28:00.002-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Inspiration for today's Step came in the form of a 'sort of' anniversary! :-) My husband proposed to me in Paris, nine years ago today... I know it's not an 'official' anniversary, but I still like to remember the day and call it an anniversary. It drives my husband mad sometimes. He finds it hard enough to remember all of the other birthdays and anniversaries, without me adding to the list with made up ones! heh heh!

Anyway, the day was very romantic and funny and we have such great memories of it. Nine years ago, right now, we were standing on a bridge in the middle of Paris, the sun going down behind the Eiffel Tower, me a bit drunk (I knew something was up, so had insisted on a mini bar crawl on the walk down to the bridge to give me some Dutch courage!)

I was in such a fluster as he proposed that I couldn't stop talking and changing the subject, until he eventually told me, quite rudely, to "just shut up!" :-) He proposed with two rings - one was a cheap, 'back-up plan' ring, in case the real engagement ring wasn't delivered to him on time.

So, jokingly, declaring that 2 rings was fairly unnecessary, I pretended to throw the real ring over my shoulder into the Seine... and being a bit drunk and flustered, I really almost did! I managed to fumble it back into the safety of my arms though and to this day, we still laugh about his face when he thought I'd thrown it off the bridge! Yipee for happy memories!

Although, on reflection... and I do mention this to him often ;-) ... in all of the excitement of almost throwing away my engagement ring, I don't believe I actually said, "Yes!" to getting married. Hmmm... maybe there is still time to get out of it?! ;-)))

Browsing Flickr for images of the Eiffel Tower, I came across the gorgeous Photostream of pilllpat (agence eureka).

Full of beautiful French inspiration, it was there that I found a paper template of the Eiffel Tower.

I had meant to make a 3D version, by cutting 4 sides and gluing them all together, but doing one side took longer than I expected, as I got a bit taken up with adding thread and pinholes and playing with the beautiful shadows...

I poked the pinholes on the wrong side, by mistake, so they look a bit messy here! *sigh* :-)

With time running out, I then somehow got side-tracked and made a pop-up card, instead! ha ha! :-) (Welcome to the random workings of my mind!)

It all went rather horribly wrong and didn't turn out at all as I envisaged, but in the true spirit of 52 Steps, I'm saying, "Who cares?!" Vive l'imperfection! heh heh! :-)

It was such a lovely surprise to see that you beat me to posting today. You did an amazing job of catching up. I can't believe we're at Step Forty, either! :-)

Gosh, I feel happy, sad and panicky about it, all at once! Happy that it will soon be over and I won't have to stress every week about what to do. Sad that I feel I've come so far and learned so much and that it will soon all be over. Panicky because I don't know what I'm going to do for the remaining 12 steps, but I feel like I should make them count somehow! ha ha! :-)))

Lots of love, hugs and kisses to you,

Fi
xx

Step Forty: Red and the peripheries...

2010-10-26T07:03:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

These days I dream of living in a different place, where instead of snow in October there is a warm breeze on my sunny (but not too sunny) patio, where I am sitting and reading another book from my long list without beginning and with no end.

In this place time does not run in fast spirals, instead it is only a concept of my mind and I can befriend it. So, there is time for everything. There is a time for Life...

And the life is quiet but vibrant. Everything has certain role and meaning like a ritual. I live in this world which I have created for myself and I am surrounded by beauty, so my mind is peaceful yet energized. I notice the light in people’s eyes and my lips wear this type of smile... like they know some secret and they try to make space for me to find it out.

Is that too much to dream for?

Love :*

Sylvia

P.S.

“Red” is a title of the collage above and “the peripheries” are my thoughts... totally incoherent with the artwork ;)

P.S.'

FORTY!!! :)

Step Thirty Seven {Finally!} - Two me’s.

2010-10-24T22:04:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

I wish I could tell you what this altered photo is all about. However, it would be hard since I have no clue...

This, and the fact that this project was spread across two pages of my Moleskine was probably the reason for the long delay with posting it. Not only was I not sure what and why “two me’s” (early signs of schizophrenia maybe?) but I knew that it would take me a while to scan and put this together properly and this is mostly why I avoided doing the task. I lost photoshop when my Mac died a few months ago, so I decided to do my best using Picnik. Fortunately, as you probably noticed our 52 steps taught me to give up on perfectionism ha, ha.

The most important part is the fact that finally my super late 37th step is posted, and that is what counts ;) at least for me!

No my Dear Fi, I won’t try to analyse my creation. The only thing I can add is the song. This song stayed with me for weeks before, during, and after creating this piece. This is the only explanation I have...

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Thirty Nine: Expressive drawing - Part Two {Little Helper Edition}

2010-10-19T22:34:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

Expressive drawing again (because it is addictive!!!).

However... no words, just pictures.

Love :*

Sylvia

P.S.

My dream was to make my first video for this step... maybe another time. I can at least share the music I wanted to use for the video - the one I’ve been listening to lately :)

P.S.'

My Little Helper :)

Step Thirty Eight: Expressive drawing - Part One...

2010-10-19T22:09:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

It’s me, Sylvia. Do you remember me? Ha, ha.

I laughed when I read your last post. It took me three weeks to realize that my problem with late posting is not a problem with doing the step but with finding the time to write about it, and to upload pictures. Usually when I finish my project writing about it is the last thing I want to do. So, if I want to post and at the same time keep going with the crazy pace of my life I need to reduce words.

I did the steps and I actually did them on time, but it was too much work to put them together. Tonight I hope to upload pictures from step 38 and 39, so I don’t feel bad about myself (and so you can see that I’m still alive). Step 37 will need to wait, because I didn’t have time to scan my project, and I cannot find it right now ha, ha.

How did this happen to me, that I cannot find myself anymore? I feel so misplaced at times. I did feel that very strongly for the last three weeks, but yesterday brought some interesting changes. I feel calmer now. So, there is a hope that I won’t go totally crazy before the end of this year.

I learned about expressive drawing through the National Center for Creative Aging. I became a member and wanted to learn more about aging and creativity as a part of my professional development plan. They sent me a message about this cool class. I watched the video and got crazy. I though about you my Dear. I hope you will love it too :)

Anyway, no more words.

with one exception:

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Thirty Nine: Celebrating origami with paper fireworks!

2010-10-19T07:02:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi

No words this week, just pictures! :-)

I could write an entire post on how tired, empty and 'oversubscribed' to everything I'm feeling at the mo... but I won't! heee! ;-) Instead, here's a pretty, distracting, little origami project for this week's Step.

Inspiration came from this amazing tutorial video from jonakashima on YouTube. Beautifully clear instructions and ...with a little patience, (not my strong point, grrr!) ;-) surprisingly simple to put together!

Origami Firework (by Yami Yamauchi)

Yipee!

Lots of love,
Fi
xx

Step Thirty Eight: A 'Fairytail' Ending :-)

2010-10-12T10:46:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Where are yooooooooooou??! :-) Please come back! I miss you.

This week's step was a strange one for me. The influence came from a trip I made at the weekend to see my Grannie, who has Alzheimer's.

The other day, I read someone describe an Alzheimer sufferer as "the opposite of a ghost". Their body remains, but their spirit has long gone. I'm not sure I truly believe that, as I could strongly feel my Grannie's spirit, even though it could easily be described as "not being there".

Or, maybe it was just the comfortable familiarity of being surrounded by her things - her furniture, the vases and photographs on the shelves, the way her room smells of warm sunshine, coffee, soap, geraniums and biscuits, with a base note of hospital detergent... I found it difficult to determine the difference between spirit and memories. It's certainly not something to dwell on in the moment, or you would be overcome with feeling sorry for yourself, which is surely the most unhelpful emotion in these situations.

Anyway, it was a strange couple of days and when I returned I began sewing this illustration, free-hand. Almost as if it was a page from a storybook... I don't really know why I chose any of the individual elements, or if it particularly makes any sense, it was just what came pouring out of my head! :-)

It felt like a comforting story - where the spirit goes on ahead, like my dogs do on our walks... I lose sight of them for a while, but they're always standing there, waiting for me when I round the corner.

Lots of love,

Step Thirty Seven: Step by Step Sushi :-)

2010-10-05T10:43:00.000-06:00

Dearest, darling Sylwi,

If you could only see what I had planned for today and how woefully short of the mark I am, you would laugh very hard and long. I had sooo much planned. I wanted to do a Japanese themed 'step' and had big visions of the actual project that I created today, plus an elaborate photoshoot - all styled with Japanese props, a collage of patterns, and a couple of other ways of presenting my project that I wanted to try.

Instead... I managed the basic project and then these very simple pics have sat on my computer screen all day, since about 11am. It's now getting on for 6pm... and I'm trying to write this post in-between all the nonsense I have to get done today. I think I'm currently averaging about 10 words an hour! hee! :-) Maybe next week, I can produce the other parts to this step that I wanted to do...?

The inspiration for today's creation came from The Complete Book of Sushi, by Hideo Dekura, Brigid Treloar and Ryuichi Yoshii.

I've been desperate (for a very long time) :-) to make sushi, which I LOVE! Well, all sushi apart from anything that involves sea urchin - yeuch! :-)

I had a go a couple of months ago and the results weren't terrible, but I'd really like to improve my techniques and with something so creative and fancy, practice is the only way to get better.

So, here's what I got up to for today's step.

First, I placed a sheet of toasted nori onto a rolling mat... using toasted nori is (I think) very important. Last time, I used untoasted and oh my goodness, the texture was so rubbery, it was inedible. It was like biting into a car tyre! :-)

At least, I think it was because I used untoasted... or maybe it was just a bad brand of nori. Apparently, the different qualities of nori in Japan are akin to paper - you can buy all kinds of different grades, from cheap to extremely expensive.

Anyway, this time, working with toasted turned out brilliantly.

I prepared the sushi rice early this morning and have a bunch of instructions on how I did it, but most sushi rice packets have instructions on the side, so it's easiest just to follow those.

Once cool, I began spreading a thin layer of rice onto the nori. To stop the rice from sticking to my hands, I regularly dipped my fingers in a bowl of water to keep them moist.

Last time, I made the mistake of making my fingers too wet and unfortunately, this transferred to my rice and nori. It all ended up a bit soggy and unruly! Thankfully this time, I knew to shake the excess water off my fingers before applying them to the rice and it worked perfectly.

At the top, I pushed the rice right to the edge and at the other end, I left a line of exposed nori (not covered in rice) about an inch wide, along the bottom of my nori sheet.

I made a groove along the top of the rice and drew a very thin line of wasabi paste along it...

Then it was time for the fun part - the filling!

I didn't have time to go to the fish shop to buy fresh fish, so I bought some precooked prawns and added avocado and chives. I wondered if the filling would be too soft, so added some cucumber for crunch.

Then it was time to roll...

... all the way over, tucking in the edges of the nori as I went and lifting the edge of the mat up...

Once rolled, I dabbed some water along the one inch exposed part of the nori to act as 'glue' and sealed the sushi shut. Once sealed, I slightly squared the edges of the roll...

... and then it was time to cut!

Using a very sharp knife and wetting it with water frequently, I cut even(ish)! sized pieces...

A friend was here for lunch, so it kinda went, "the big one, that's for me, this little one, that's for you, this next big one, that's for me..." ;-P

... then a quick arrangement on the plate with a blob of wasabi shaped into a leaf... and I mean quick! I barely got this shot, before pieces began disappearing off the plate! :-)

I could not believe how delicious these were and how fast my friend and I wolfed these down. They were supposed to be for lunch, but I finished making them around 11am and by 5 past 11, they were all gone!

It was so wonderful to get creative with food. It felt as though so much love and care goes into these - it makes them super special. The freshness of the ingredients, the beauty of the presentation and how delicious they taste make them hard to beat!

The possibilities are endless as well. Vegetarian sushi, raw sushi, traditional sushi with raw fish - all the different ways to roll them; inside out, hand wrapped, thin, thick, upside down... oooh, I have an addiction coming on! :-)

I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning to catch up with your post and also to comment on last week's post. I've just seen it today, as I was uploading this post. *sigh* I know, you told me you'd uploaded it, but I haven't had a chance to visit all week. I can't wait for tomorrow, to spend some time browsing your lovely work. I Misssssss Yooooou!

Lots and lots of love

Step Thirty Six: Minimalist collage and the timing disaster

2010-09-30T22:37:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

As you probably already have noticed I have huge issues with timing lately. Somehow my life has too many deadlines at the same time... and the changes I am undergoing right now are more stressful than I could have predicted. But I already whined to you in my countless e-mails, so I won’t repeat myself here again.

I’m so glad that you are back. I love your Zentangle!!! At first I thought that you cut them out of paper. That would be great! For me they look more like very cool and freehanded prints rather then just scribbling and doodling on paper. Totally bold! So, maybe we should switch to Weekly Zentangle ha, ha. Although, knowing me and my timing it probably wouldn't be weekly... ha, ha.

So the story for this step goes like this:

I think that if I had enough time to think about what I wanted to do (pre-planning ha, ha) for my 36th step I would have had more success with posting on Tuesday. However, on Tuesday I found myself undecided, tired, stressed, and totally empty.

I tried to sketch something. I had a totally different idea for this post. I was fascinated by falling leaves. I took many pictures of golden leaves lying on the grass, on the asphalt, dancing in the air, and resting in my hand. These pictures were the inspiration for my project. I imagined how I will combine them with my post etc. and that was all I could do on Tuesday.

Yesterday I decided to do something, anything, whatever... I just wanted to “have it done”. I painted a page in my Moleskine watercolour sketchbook in ivory. I thought about using only white, ivory, and cream colours, papers, paints and ribbons. However, while searching for materials, I found the leftovers from the tiny cabinet project I did and because it was just easier and faster to use what I already had I changed my mind about using the monochromatic palette. I’m actually happy that I changed the original idea because later on when I scanned the image I found out that it will probably be impossible to see the different shades of white, ivory and cream very well. Even this piece is failing to show that distinction :( Maybe a camera would record it better? Too late to check it now ha, ha ;)

So, I finished my collage yesterday, but when I thought about writing a post I just knew it won’t happen. I didn’t feel good about it, but I needed to use my resources wisely. Since I started to work I just don’t have the same time and energy to stay up late at night. Besides Tuesdays are actually the most stressful days for me. So, Thursday it is, and I’m finally posting...

Hope you will forgive me (AGAIN!!!) and hope you feel much much better right now My Dear :*

I’m sending you lots of love and the healing vibrations :*

Sylvia

Step Thirty Six: Zentangle Mania

2010-09-28T09:57:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Hellooooooooo! :-) It was so lovely to come back and see your posts! I love them (particularly your anniversary one! Happy Anniversary!) and I love the idea of Zentangle.

I'm sitting here today with an absolutely stinking cold... I've just said goodbye to one set of guests and another lot arrived today, so my head is in a spin. I couldn't think of one thing to do for today's post as my head almost feels liquid, I'm so full of the cold... so I decided to copy you! :-)

Inspired by your zentangle post, I tried some of my own. I'm not sure I've entirely got the hang of the technique, as there was nothing much zen about my experience! :-)

I cut out a square of paper, drew a few squiggles on it and then began to doodle around them. The more I doodled, the more stressed I got that I didn't like the outcome... I know, I know, it's supposed to be meditative and calming, but for some reason, I had preconceived ideas about how mine 'should' look.

By the end of the first one, I wondered if my efforts were rubbish and by the end of the second square that I tried, I was convinced they were! ;-))))

So, against (probably) all Zentangle rules, I took a pair of scissors and chopped each square into two halves... and then I started to like them more! :-)

In fact, I started to enjoy myself so much, that I found myself putting off jobs that needed done (the guests will have to help me make the beds later!) :-) so that I could create more squares to chop in half! :-)

... and I still couldn't get enough of Zentangles. I was getting quite addicted. Here, I drew a hot air balloon... and then doodled all around it.

... and then, my guests arrived early :-( so I had to put down my pen reluctantly and stop acting like a crazy person!

I wish I could hang around our blog more today and chat with you - I'm desperate to hear your stories - about your practicum, about your Flickrgetogether, about life in general... but I have to go.

I'm away for a couple of days tomorrow and there's so much to get done first... but all I want to do is go to bed and sleep off this cold! :-)

Hopefully, there will be more time next week to concentrate on my 37th step. Gosh, are there really only 15 left?! :-(

Can't wait to see what your step will be this week. Hope you're ok. Will be in touch as soon as I get back.

Lots and lots and lots of love (I Misssssed You!)
Fi
xx

Step Thirty Five: Sweet love... sweet souls...

2010-09-21T22:03:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

It is not the same without you :(

Posting alone feels weird.

Come back!!! I really miss you :*

***

I wrote about the special meeting in Coleman but then something happened and I couldn’t post it...

So instead of the detailed rapport on this amazing encounter I will leave you with a short description of today’s artwork.

It is hard to believe but today is the eighth anniversary of my marriage. So it seemed only right to do something to mark this passage. You might remember the picture of us from last year I posted in our flickr pool while doing my 365: self-portrait. I considered taking another, more recent, photo; but I really like that one I used because it speaks volumes about our relationship.

So, eight years.

Today.

Still together.

Still in love.

Still happy.

In awe.

***

I could write the whole “love story” and list all the great, wonderful, amazing things I know about my husband, but somehow I don’t feel like I want to share all of this on our blog... I am not comfortable with doing this. So, I won’t ha, ha. Besides, I think you already know the story anyway ;)

***

The change happened Dear Fi. I experienced some kind of shift. The last experiment with Zentangle and the previous one with spontaneous drawing brought me back to the “old times”. I feel like something opened inside my compressed (and maybe broken from all that social conditioning and self-judgment) soul and I can finally feel the freedom. She is coming out, calling me, and dancing through this little crack I’ve created with these 35 steps so far.

I am drawn to the simplicity of black and white now, and to the effortless, playful lines, circles and dots forming the new worlds on paper. I am grateful for discovering the lost pleasures anew again. I wish I could find the right words to better explain it to you...

One day maybe... when we finally meet I will try ;)

Sylvia

P.S.

My Dear, I cannot wait for you to came back and play with me again next week. I hope you will bring lots of pictures and stories to share, and tones of new fancy French inspirations ;)

Love :*

Step Thirty Four: Zentangle

2010-09-15T23:25:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

As you are relaxing in France I’m sitting at my overcrowded chiropractor’s office waiting for my turn and writing this letter/post to you. No I didn’t forget to post yesterday. I was actually very proud of myself because despite of my first day at work, and despite of having sick children I was able to create something for my thirty fourth step.

However, after finishing my tangled sign, and before writing my post I went to bed with my sick children and fell asleep with them. I woke up this morning and there was no time to post before leaving for work, so here I am... late.

Did you hear about zentangle yet?

I found this book a few months ago, and was curious what was inside. However, for some unknown reason it was really hard to order the book (which made me want it even more!) Finally last week the book arrived. Zentangle reminds me of doodles, only I think that the purpose of tangle is to repeat them as a pattern or to create tangled clusters.

{Do you think my Dear Fi that I really know what I’m talking about?}

Anyway, it turned out that playing with Zentangle was fun and relaxing. Since my goal was to try it out for the first time, and I didn’t have much time I decided to fill the letters with tanglo-doodles (ha, ha - yes, I’m creating new words). I actually had an idea of designing a bigger project but it was impossible to fit it into yesterday ;) So, instead I decided to mark that first day of unpaid work (meaning: practicum) hence my Zentangled DAY 1...

Zentangle is simple, creative, fun and relaxing... So my Dear Fi, you might even try it right now on your French paper napkin while you are sitting in some nice cafe waiting for your tasty crunchy yummy chocolate croissant to arrive... {me? jealous???}

Sylvia

P.S.

I hope you are having fun in France so far :*

Step Thirty Three: Spontaneous drawing...

2010-09-08T00:59:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

I started to work on my step around lunch. I was actually quite happy with what I did. No, not because I like the effect but because I felt like I regained an ability I once lost. I drew spontaneously without judgment and finished my drawing in a few minutes. This is how I worked before with freedom and curiosity, without great expectations, just for the pure joy of scribbling on paper. Drawing and painting this way usually started with one dot or a circle or a line without any concept of what might have happen or where it will lead me. It usually ended with something totally unexpected created on paper, almost as if I wasn't the person who drew but a medium through which the drawing came. This is why these quotes from Piet Mondrian "The position of the artist is humble. He is essentially a channel" and "Intellect confuses intuition" were for so many years appealing to me.

Anyway, this is today's story.

Pure happiness! Except... the fact that after drawing my piece I became busy with my life and went to pick up my son from school, shopping, then had my hair done, come back home, put my children to bed and fell asleep with them. I woke up after 11PM and scanned my drawing and started to write this post. My plan for today was to scan the drawing and then paint the original and a few printed copies with different colours. However, since it is so late I don't think I will be able to paint more than one tonight. Also, as I'm writing these words right now in the blogger, I see the message below "Post was not saved due to form errors" so I'm not even sure if I can post it right now? I will try and see what happens, and I will update my post when I finish painting.

I cannot believe I will be here alone for the next two weeks...

I hope you will enjoy your vacation and come back happy and ready to play with me again. I wish you could join us for our unravellers meeting this year, but I know that we will meet (sooner or later) anyway. As you know I've recently met one pretty amazing soul from our tribe and I cannot wait to meet others soon, and I cannot wait to meet you in person too :)

Love :*

Sylvia

Update:

Step Thirty Five: More recycled envelope adventures!

2010-09-07T09:43:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Today's project was inspired by a couple of things; the journal I made using security envelopes for Step Three (probably my favourite step, so far!) and this paper party hat that I made last year, for my dog's 3rd birthday! *<:-)

The hat has been sitting on my desk for almost a year and I can't bring myself to throw it out. I think it's way too cute for the bin ...(man!) heh heh!

...on a side note - I did, however, finally throw out the top hat I made for last year's Secret Santa draw!

I've been clinging onto it, desperately trying to think of another use for it. There was none. Other than as a dust collector. So, it went in the bin yesterday :-( Here's hoping I don't suddenly need a top hat for any reason in the next few months (ha ha! as if?!), or it will be back to the drawing (painting, cutting and gluing) board again! ;-)

Curious to try some more envelope projects, I've been hoarding a stack of those wonderful, security envelopes in my recycled paper pile again!

I know pennant banners are "sooooo last year" :-) but I never actually got around to making any and decided that those little security patterns would be perfect for flags. I also tried one set of bunting with old newspaper.

They look a lot larger in this picture below than they actually are. They're very dinky. I think these would be really cute wound round and round a wrapped gift...

Whilst I was gluing these pennant banners, I thought the idea would transfer well onto a gift tag. So, I went on to try that idea out.

It was a bit fiddly and took way more time than I thought :-) but I eventually worked out an easier way of sewing the individual pennants on - by temporarily securing them in place with masking tape...

Once sewn on, I then glued each little flag shut and ...ta-dah - a bunting gift tag!

I really liked how it turned out, but once it was finished, I started wondering if I'd seen this somewhere before?! Often when I'm free-stylin' with ideas, I start to panic that I'm just recreating something I've already seen on someone's blog... but, I'm not sure! I did a search for bunting gift tags made from old security envelopes, but couldn't find any online...

Hopefully, I haven't subconsciously pinched someone elses' idea! :-/

I went one step further and added the little left over hearts to the tag...

... and now don't know if I over did it?! :-) Ah well! It was fun to play with!

I'm on holiday for 2 weeks now, but I'm looking forward to getting back already (how sad?!) :-) to see what you've been up to in the blog house whilst I'm away!

Have a fantastic weekend with the Flickr girls. Talk lots, hug lots, laugh lots and photo/video it ALL, of course! :-) I'll be thinking of you!

Lots and lots of love

Step Thirty Two: Tiny Cabinet

2010-08-31T23:09:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

I took a lot of pictures for today’s project, so now I will try to limit my words ha, ha.

Yesterday I started to panic because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to choose to do for my step. I realised that there are only! twenty more steps left and that I have much more ideas on my list. I did some sketches for my weekly and daily calendar, but the problem was that I didn’t feel like this is exactly what I want, so I decided to spend more time on clarifying my intentions and conceptualizing my project before starting it.

In the evening I started to felt anxious (over the unchosen choice he, he). So I decided it’s time to be quick and firm and I put on my table these few tiny cabinets. Then I called my children and said, “We will start to paint them today and finish tomorrow”. So, this is how I knew that now I cannot change my mind ;)

I bought these cute cabinets at Michaels more than two years ago. My plan was to collect about 30 of them and paint or decorate them in other way (e.g., decoupage), and then ask my husband to build a special shelf for displaying my collection. I thought they will look cute and interesting when put together. However, two years passed by and I haven’t even started.

So as you see Dear Fi it was time ha, ha ;)

The torture started yesterday after each of us chose the cabinet to paint. I couldn’t decide on colour, or pattern, or design, or paper to glue on. It was getting late and I knew that if I don’t start to paint I won’t have enough time to finish the project today. I wanted to go to bed and know that my tiny cabinet is covered in one colour. My children already painted half of their cabinets when I took a brush and frantically started to cover my cabinet in my favourite cobalt teal. I still didn’t know what I will do next, but I decided to not worry about it until morning.

But in the morning it all started again. Should I make a pattern? or maybe design a flower motif? or paint some abstract? or glue some pieces of exotic papers? I had so many different ideas that it was almost impossible to choose.

At last I decided to use an idea I had stored in my head for another project. About a year ago I bought a few things at a garage sale - the small drawers from Ikea - ($1 each - yay! garage sale!) among them. I wanted to paint them white and add the design I used today (only instead of white use cobalt teal). Who knows maybe I will be able to fit this project into one of my steps along the way.

The good thing is that once I figured out what I want to do I started to have fun. I really enjoyed my crafty-project today, and to be honest, I love the end effect. This tiny cabinet is too cute to stop staring at it ;)

Love :*

Sylvia

Step Thirty Four: Little Book of Lists

2010-08-31T14:57:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Hello! I'm here. A little late, but I made it, finally! :-) I wasn't totally sure I would today! It's been a long day... but, I finished my post and I have created something that will definitely help me with future "long days" :-)

I've recently started writing 'to do' lists. I used to do this a few years ago, but in the last few months, rather than write them out, I've been carrying the lists around in my head.

Before, I often found important things carrying over to the next day. Now, I not only write them out, but also highlight the three most important things on the list. Remarkably, I find, they always get done. I think it's because three is a really achievable number and rather than becoming overwhelmed with a list of 15 things, I focus on what's important.

I also want to begin writing lists of other things... like, 'things I have changed recently', 'things I want to do', 'places I want to visit', 'new things I want to try', etc...

I find it's a real relief to get the lists out of my head and onto paper. It clears my mind and makes more space for creative thinking - everything seems much less stressful!

Till today, I've been jotting my lists down on scraps of paper in amongst random doodles and ideas, so I figured it was time they had their own dedicated book.

I 'carved' the "Little Book of Lists" title out of the cover of a moleskine journal. If you press the knife gently into the oilcloth cover, it only cuts the top layer, which you can then peel off, to reveal the cardboard underneath.

The decorative border, I found in a great little book on letterpress printing, called The Handy Book of Artistic Printing by Doug Clouse and Angela Voulangas.

I had meant to cut the border too, but it was so fiddly and I'd sort of run out of patience whilst cutting the font, so I decided to draw it on instead. ha! :-) I only had a white watercolour pencil, so no doubt it will rub off! I wish I had some kind of thin, white, paint pen... I don't even know if they exist, but it would have been the perfect tool for the job!

Being a complete and utter geek, I now can't wait for tomorrow to use it! What will number one on my first list in my new book be? ...

1. Make a list! ;-)
2. ...
3. ...

xx

Step Thirty One: Finally, I'm back...

2010-08-24T23:18:00.000-06:00

My Dear Fi,

First of all thank you for your patience with me!!! As you know my computer died on me and I was caught up in my school work for the last few weeks. I’m glad that you carried on and that you survived all the e-mails with my whining. We should both get a medal ;) Actually, I seriously considered making a medal for myself for today’s project.

Instead I’m coming back after two weeks of disappearance with a ten minute painting!!! This isn’t what I had planned for my “great come back”, but this is all that I was able to do. Surprisingly, I don’t feel guilty. Maybe because it was really fun to finally paint something without any special expectations.

I had other plans for today. The mentioned medal was one, I also thought about choosing one of my old projects which I promised myself to complete before the year ends, the other idea was to try something new. However, I noticed that all those ideas made me nervous and believe me Dear Fi being stressed is not what I wanted to do today.

Today was actually the first "lazy" day since I finished my course. After submitting my final assignment on Friday I couldn’t find a place for myself. On Saturday I scheduled my nose to be pierced, so I was nervous about how it will go (ha, ha). On Sunday I attended a great half-day workshop with Stuart and Carol Heller "The 90% Non-Verbal Factor". On Monday once again I tried to figure out “who am I?” and “what I really want to do with the time I have before starting my practicum and the next class?” However, I was so tired that I couldn’t answer these questions...

I have no idea how to interpret today’s piece... However, I feel some air and messy freedom caught up in there and this is what makes me smile. I don’t know why I am always surprised by the ability of this short process of creative expression to uplift my spirit. Haven’t I learn yet? So now, Dear Fi, I am seriously contemplating to use it daily and see what happens.

Love :*

Sylvia

P.S.
I feel like this post is one of my super ramblings. Please, forgive me! I couldn’t concentrate while writing this post... I think I need a really long break from writing ;)

Step Thirty Three: Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail! :-)

2010-08-24T11:08:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi

Eep! Can it really be a week, already? It feels like I was here posting just a couple of days ago. Time is flying past so quickly at the moment. I'm actually so glad I have 52 Steps. It's really forcing me (in a good way) to sit down and create something every week - even if it's only small, or I don't think it's very good, at least I have evidence here that I am making progress on all of these things that I've been carrying around in my head for so long! :-)

I can't wait for tomorrow to see if you make it back safely to 52 Steps land! :-) I've missed you these past two weeks, but I totally understand. I like your idea of me taking my 2 week holiday in September and not posting... so that, come October, we're back on the same step together again. Then we can change the blog name to 50 steps, a hop and a skip. ;-)

This week I took on a project that I have desperately needed to do for over a year now, but never seem to have the enthusiasm, or find the time for it. I really need a training log for my running. Up until now, I've been using a blank book to journal every run and workout that I do. It's a cute little book that goes back all of the way to 2003! Each page documents the highs and lows of all of my runs since then and I love to flick back through them when I'm low on motivation.

I'm coming to the end of the book now and my runs are starting to spill out onto scraps of paper... it's all starting to get a little disorganised!

The only problem I've had with it is that it's blank, so I find myself repeatedly writing out the same things. What I need is a log with headings, where I just fill in the details.

I've had a look online for training logs to buy, but all of the running ones aren't what I'm looking for at all ... and some of them are downright, shockingly useless! ;-)

I want something to store my training schedule, document my runs (distance, time, pace, route, etc), my injuries and my nutrition and provide weekly overviews which will be valuable for motivation. There are a few online logs which look worth a try, but I'm trying to reduce the amount of time I spend online, not increase it! If I used online software, I'd spend day and night on the computer. So, I decided to make my own log by hand drawing it! :-) I'll then print copies of the templates and make them into a book.

I completely misjudged how long it would take me. First, I had to work out what I wanted to record. Then, decide on page layout and order. It took me ages. Basically, I ran out of time today, which makes my post title today even more apt! ;-)

I had intended to create the full log up until the end of December this year. Instead, I've created one for the next twelve weeks. I want to try it out and see if the layout suits me. The aim is to have a tailor-made, fully functional log book layout, for the beginning of next year.

I didn't have time to bind it today either, as the paper I was using was too thin. When I printed out a week's worth of daily logs, the print came through the back of the paper, meaning I couldn't use both sides! Fail! I will have to buy some thicker paper this week and then print out the rest.

So, I'm leaving the printing, binding and cover till next week... or maybe later this week, if I have time! I can't wait to put it all together and actually start using it!

Can't wait to *see* you tomorrow and hear what you've been up to. Speak soon.

Lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Thirty Two: Silver art clay alchemy

2010-08-17T09:47:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi

Sorry to hear you have so much on your plate at the moment! :-( Hope to see you back here next week... don't worry about the missed posts. Make them up another time, or skip them completely... in fact, maybe we could rename this blog, 'A few steps and a few skips' ;-)))

Don't worry, I'll be skipping a couple of posts too, later in September. I don't know if I'll skip them completely, or if I'll make them up later, but it's not something we should worry about! Life gets in the way of the internet sometimes... that's all there is to it! ;-)

This week, I decided to try out yet another project that has been sitting on my 'to do' list for ... well, about a year. :-)

In fact, it was just shortly after I first *met* you :-) that I ordered myself a book called Magical Metal Clay Jewellery, by Sue Heaser and some silver art clay from the Polymer and Silver Clay Pit.

Silver art clay is a clay made from finely ground pure silver mixed with non-toxic binders and water. You can mould and sculpt it, just like a clay and then fire it at home. The heat of firing burns away the binders and fuses the silver, to leave a solid piece of silver.

I bought a tiny piece of the clay to try it out and well, then life took over and it got put in a drawer... till today, when the courage I've gained from 52 steps made me take it out and finally open it!

Being a complete novice, I bought the slow dry clay, thinking it would give me extra time to create my pieces. I'm not sure if the clay goes off after a certain date, but I certainly don't think sitting in my drawer (although sealed) for a year did it any favours! :-) The clay began to dry within seconds of me opening the packet, so I had to work fast! You can moisten it with water to make it soft again, but I found that water really started to complicate matters and get messy, so I just moulded the clay as fast as I could into some basic shapes.

My plan for today was to create a little pendant to go on a bracelet with the Japanese kanji symbol "Isshin" engraved on it. Isshin generally translates to "one heart, one mind". I first learned about it when reading a French book about the history of tai chi and another on karate... about 15 years ago. I've since lost the books I had, which were the best references on the ideology behind it... and haven't been able to find any more information since.

There appears to be a form of karate, called Isshinryu, based on the concept, so there are a lot of websites with basic explanations, but I still can't find a description of 'the one heart, one mind' idea that is whole... or at least, not one as thorough as in the books I had. It's kind of frustrating, because I remember reading about it and being really moved. I'd love to find out more about it! :-)

It wasn't long before I was getting very annoyed with the clay and my lack of skill! :-) It's my first time, so I'm not going to be too hard on myself, but I was really struggling! I created 3 different pendants to try different styles and techniques. Once I'd sanded down the clay to a sort of smooth surface, I began engraving the kanji symbol into the pieces. Things began to go from bad to worse! ;-)

My favourite square piece developed a crack right through it... but I carried on anyway, curious to see what would happen when I fired it.

That was when the real fun began! Firing can be done in various ways at home. The easiest for me was on wire mesh, sat on top of a gas hob.

It was a real adventure and my frustration at how rubbish the pendants were, was replaced by pure wonder at the process! :-) True alchemy!

A few minutes of firing and the silver is created. I quenched it in a cup of water and was then ready to start smoothing and polishing...

Using a wire brush and then some very fine grade sandpaper - starting with the roughest sandpaper first and then working down to the finest (superfine, ultrafine and then microfine) - I began to polish them up.

Okay, so they're pretty horrendous, but I quite liked the one in the middle... apart from the fact, it has a huge crack running right through it! :-)

Next time, I would create a stamp of the kanji symbol first and use that to stamp onto the clay, rather than try to engrave it. I would also roll the clay slightly thicker to avoid breakage. :-)

I went on to try out some Liver of Sulphur gel on the engraved parts to make them darker. I made such a mess that I'm not even going to show you the results! ha ha ha! It did come up some lovely colours though. It was just rather messy. Luckily, I didn't touch my favourite square pendant, so that lives to fight another day... or at least until the crack down the middle gets worse and it breaks into two! ha! ;-)

Lots of love

Step Thirty One: {K}not so plain sailing...

2010-08-10T10:42:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi

This week I decided to tackle another project that I've had in my head for years, but have never got around to doing! :-)

A few years ago, I became interested in knot craft as used by sailors for both functional and aesthetic purposes. Considerable skills and creativity with rope have been passed down through the centuries and I find all of the different techniques fascinating.

I began this week by making some idiot cord from household string, using this fantastic tutorial from The Purl Bee. (So much eye candy on that site, all so beautifully photographed, I could get lost for hours!)

I really like how the string worked in this cord. It became very supple and soft, not like string at all. So, I began experimenting with knots...

Then I remembered that earlier this week I had been very inspired by Etsy's "How Tuesday" post on Sailor's Knot Bracelets and thought maybe I could use the cord for a bracelet. The technique is genius, using an old can to weave the rope around into a bracelet.

When I tried with my length of i-cord though, it didn't look nearly as good as the ones in their photos! :-( ha ha! So, I tried with some rope that I have.

The rope I have is a very soft, white, large rope... I thought it might make quite a cute, large bangle!

But, no! Admittedly, I did feel a bit like a fender on a boat when I put it on! heee! Maybe it's a bit too large! ha ha! ;-)

So, I played around using other materials. Here I used an old scarf that I ripped up and plaited...

... but I didn't really like that either! :-)

Determined to finish today having created something I liked, I tried making a keyring out of the i-cord. The instructions for this came from a book called "Knot Craft" by Des Pawson. The basic knot used here is a boatswain's whistle lanyard knot...

It turned out almost like the picture in the book (my cord wasn't quite long enough to finish it properly), so I was still feeling dissatisfied. ha! These knots aren't as easy as they look! There's a fair amount of skill involved in getting the tension right and it took me quite a bit of time. I'm not entirely sure the result warranted the effort! ha ha! :-)

Whilst, flicking through that book, I came across a project that I've been wanting to try for ages and is the reason I have so much rope in my cupboard! A few years ago, I noticed that it became a bit of an interiors trend to use rope "monkey's fist" doorstops. They were so darn expensive in the shops though, I knew I could make one cheaper. (Uh-oh!) :-) I bought the rope at a local marine store, but then never got around to the project! ... ahem! So, today 52 Steps came to the rescue again! ;-)

Unfortunately, I didn't have enough of the large, soft, white rope for the knot, so had to use a coarser type of rope (I'm not sure what it is made from - hemp, or hessian maybe)... it goes quite well with some old floats that I found in a junk yard last year!

I'm exhausted now. I feel like I've knotted everything I own in the house! ;-) At least I finally got around to all of these projects that I've had stacked up in my head!

Promise I'll write soon, I've been so busy last week and this week. Hopefully, next week will be easier again. Speak soon. Can't wait to see your step 31! Can you believe it? Only 21 left to go! Eep! :-)

Lots of love

Step Thirty: Five hats and other news...

2010-08-04T00:13:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

First of all I will start by saying that I’ve made an update to my last post and added the finished piece of poppies for my mom at the end of that post. This was the longest it has taken me to complete a piece, of course lack of time was the biggest issue. The good news is that I finished it on Saturday and was able to give it to my family early morning on Sunday before they left, so hopefully my mom will receive her present soon!

Second, I was very mad at myself today because I decided to use and expand on something I accidentally made earlier. The only problem was that it got lost! It took me a lot of time before I gave up searching and decided to recreate the piece from my memory. The funniest part is that it wasn’t something amazing, or even beautiful, but it was something that inspired me to create today’s post, so naturally I wanted to have it ;)

It was a hat, created accidentally while working on the cloud for my grandmother altered photo. I made a shape, which reminded me of a hat. I even tried to attach it to my grandma’s head, but I wasn’t convinced, so I decided against it. However, this is how I got the idea of creating a series of different hats arranged together.

So this is what I’ve tried to do today. The possibilities are endless, but I didn’t want to spend much time on this project. The last week was kind of crazy even though it was really lovely to have my family over. So, right now I’m trying to catch up with my studies and everything else (however, it didn’t stop me from thinking about doing a 52 Hats Project ha, ha).

As I was looking at these cute hats I realised that they remind me of Andy Warhol’s work. Don’t laugh at me Dear Fi - I’m not comparing myself to his genius!!! I just connected the dots in my head. Many years ago, in Poland I was lucky to see Warhol’s retrospective exhibition. I remember exactly the moment I encountered his watercolours and drawings of shoes because I immediately fell in love with them. Of course he is most known for his pop art paintings of Marilyn Monroe and the ideology of consumerism behind his famous Campbell’s Soup Cans but for me the shoes (and the cats!) were the most sincere part of his work and the highlight of the entire exhibition. So, as I’ve said earlier I’m not comparing my hats to his shoes, I just thought that the idea of creating many one-of-a-kind of “something” is similar ;)

P.S.
I’ve decided to start a blog.
No, I’m not crazy! Starting a blog was on my 2010 list ;)
I’m not happy with the design especially because I had something completely different in my mind. However, since I decided to join Susannah for her August Break, there was no time to design my banner from scratch, so I used what I already had. For now ;)

P.S.’
+ I hope to return to yoga pretty soon!

P.S.''
The illustration I made for Patti got into her book again and it will be published in November 2010 :) Yay!!!

:*
Sylvia

Step Thirty: Freshly laundered {origami} money!

2010-08-03T06:13:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

Only a quick post today, as I've just got back from a few days away in London and have a pile of things to do.

It was my husband's birthday this weekend, so I took him to London clothes shopping. I was fairly reluctant to come back, I could have stayed in the City for much longer! I found so many cool new places to shop, eat and drink... yet, I still had a list of about 2 pages long that I didn't get around to visiting. I can't wait to go back again!

I squeezed in many old favourites, like Liberty's (where I could quite happily buy one of everything!) and found new favourites, like the exquisite oasis that is Postcard Teas and the fabulous Saf.

After two solid days of walking the streets and shopping (my husband struggled to find clothes that he liked), I have menswear indelibly stamped on my brain. :-) I think next time, I'll just give him the money for the clothes in a birthday card and tell him to go on his own! hee hee! (not really, but it is tempting!) ;-)

It set me to thinking how I could add money to a card creatively (if it was a present for a nephew or niece, for example), rather than just slipping the money inside... and this is what I came up with.

The shirt is folded using this shirt origami technique using a one dollar bill. If I was giving this as a birthday present, I'd obviously fold something a little larger than a dollar! heh heh! I'm not that miserly! ;-)

I added the coat hanger (twisted from bead wire) and stuck the washing line (made from fishing line) onto the inside of the card. The card is one of those 3 panel ones, with an oval shape cut out of the centre panel.

I guess, you could alternatively make a cute, little origami dress, if it was for a girl. :-)

Hope you had a fantastic weekend. Looking forward to catching up soon.

Lots of love

Step Twenty Nine: Work in progress...

2010-07-27T23:15:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

I wasn’t able to finish my project today. I’m terribly sick + my family from Poland is here, not to mention that I still have my class running...

My family is here for only a week, so I’m trying my best to accommodate as much as I can to entertain them.

I also tried my best to do anything at all for our blog today. However, the first chance I had to even think about the idea for today’s post came after 8 PM. It took me a while to choose the “right” background and to figure out what kind of flowers I want to add to it. Finally, I decided on poppies because I took a few pictures of them yesterday in Banff and Lake Louise where we were visiting with my family.

I need to finish this project before my family leaves, because this supposed to be a present for my mom. She just had her birthday and I thought that it would be much easier to give something to my family to take with them instead of sending it by post, which usually takes a really long time, not to mention that it sometimes gets lost, or is kept at the border for additional month. This happened to me the last time I sent my mom a birthday present. Not only did they open my package, but it got to my mom after two months and she also needed to pay for it!

Anyway, I’m not sure if you can see on this scan, but I used a new technique today. I glued paper tissue on the poppies to make them look more like poppies ha, ha. And then I painted them over again. Using layers slowed down my progress, since it was very difficult to sew through all these layers. To apply these two poppies took me about two hours, and now I need to wrap it up, because here in the room where I’m working my cousin’s son will be sleeping soon...

So, my Dear Fi, see you next Tuesday and I hope I will have more time for you and our “steps”... I wish I will!!! Isn’t it funny, that we both have visitors and that we both were working on something for our mothers?

Love :*

Sylvia

P.S.
It sounded better to title my post “work in progress” than “unfinished business” ha, ha, but I cannot believe that I’m stretching one project into three posts!!!

P.S.'
My husband is laughing at me that every week I have a new excuse why I'm so busy...

UPDATE!!!

Step Twenty Nine: Fimo Love

2010-07-27T12:32:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

This is just going to be a quick post as it's been such a busy few days and I've still so much to get done today! I've also got the inlaws staying, so every moment seems to be filled. Doesn't leave much time for creativity (or sleeping, for that matter)! :-)

Today, I grabbed minutes here and there to play around with Fimo. I've never really used any kind of modelling clay, so I was interested to see how I found it.

I began by making something easy - a flower. To make the petals, I rolled a lovely, turquoise colour into a tube, then cut it into 5 equal sections. I rolled each piece into a ball...

I used one ball of yellow for the centre of the flower...

Then, squished all of the balls together to make a flower! :-)

Using a pin, or knife, you can then add detail to the petals and centre.

This colour of the flower reminded me of tattoos that I've seen - usually a red heart tattoo with a scroll across the centre and a little blossom on top. The inlaws staying with us always makes me miss my own Mum, so, I decided to create a tattoo in her honour! :-)

I made a heart from red Fimo, draped a white scroll over it and pushed it down to make it stick. I cut out some text from black and pushed them onto the scroll. I then cooked everything in the oven, according to the packet instructions (I had to glue the flower on later as it would not stick to the heart before it was cooked).

When it was all finished, I took it out of the oven and I lifted it off the tray to admire it.

And promptly dropped it!

So, that's why the scroll is snapped. *sigh!* ha ha ha! :-)))

The original idea was to make a little bobby pin with it, so I went ahead and did that anyway, despite it being broken.

It was a cute project and I wish I had more time to go back and redo it.

Next time, I'd make the scroll a little thicker and also find some way of hiding my fingerprints - they are all over the heart and flower! :-) I read somewhere that you can polish them off with a fine grade sandpaper... I'd also try doing the text a bit differently... not quite sure how, but cutting it out of black Fimo was extreeemely tricky and not very neat! :-) All of that will have to wait for another day though...

I'm off to get dinner on the go. Can't wait to hear from you and see what you've got! Hurry up and post! ;-)

Step 29 already! Can you believe it?!

Lots of love

Step Twenty Eight: Background{s}...

2010-07-20T22:59:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

No, I didn’t paint a dot today as I considered doing. However... all I was able to do was paint these three green backgrounds. I’m sure you don’t expect me to explain why ha, ha.

I put myself in a very uncomfortable, stressful, demanding, and energy draining situation. So, for the next four weeks I will be going crazy {and probably paint more green backgrounds for you ha, ha}. I hope I will survive and finish my second last class, but to be honest I’m totally overwhelmed and I feel totally burnt out. Why am I doing this to myself? Do I really think that one day I will slow down? What would happen if I said to myself: You know, actually I’m really tired and I need a break. I understand that it will affect many things, for example not graduating next year, but I am asking “Is it really worth it?”

Tomorrow is my son’s sixth birthday, this Saturday he will have his first real party, with friends from kindergarten, in a special place for children. Then my family from Poland will arrive on Sunday to stay for a week. And what will I be doing for the entire time? I will be worrying, dear Fi. I will worry that I won’t have enough time to study, that I won’t be able to truly celebrate with my son, or to enjoy the time with my family.

So, GREEN my Dear Fi. My super Anti-stressor. Only green has the amazing power to calm me down. I love this colour. {The weird thing though is that I am unable to wear green}

I’m 100% sure I won’t have more time next week, than I have now. So, I hope I can use one of these backgrounds I prepared today to paint something for my mom as a birthday gift... But this I won’t know until next Tuesday ;)

I’m sending you love from my crazy spot :*

Sylvia

P.S.
I’ve already said this, but I must say this again:
I LOVE YOUR DRAGONFLY!!!
And I think you did recreate the pattern of her wings perfectly!!!

Step Twenty Eight: An old dragonfly bearing the gift of appreciation comes to visit.

2010-07-20T03:40:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

What a morning?! My camera wouldn't hook up to my computer, so I thought I wasn't going to be able to upload any pictures... or post today. I didn't even know when I'd be able to get my computer fixed, so didn't know if I'd be able to post all week! Eep! I was panicking and frustrated ... and tired too! I've been up since half five - my mother in law is arriving today and there's lots to get done before she gets here! :-)

I've spent the last 2 hours trying to get my computer to speak to my camera! I really was losing my patience! Anyway, finally, they are speaking to each other again... but I wasted those 2 hours I had set aside for finishing the piece, so I'm posting it as is. I guess I could get away with saying it's the finished piece, but I had wanted to add some cut out words - some lyrics about perfection, from a song that really speaks to me right now.

It's kind of annoying. The one week I have a complete idea in my head before I start and I don't get to finish it! :-)

Over the weekend, my husband found a huge dragonfly, dead on our lawn... poor little dragonfly. :-(

I've never seen one up close before. They're quite scarce here and move so quickly when they do appear, there isn't time to study them.

I was amazed... in so many ways. It was HUGE! It was very robust - quite scaly... actually quite scary looking with huge, furry legs and big, bulbous eyes. The wings are papery, but strong (almost like a plastic bag) and exquisitely detailed...

I couldn't stop staring at it. I guess it must have died of old age. Apparently, they don't live very long, so are often regarded as symbolism of living life to the full and enjoying your time whilst you can.

It was a very poignant reminder to take a step back from life and the stressful things that are mounting up to annoy me and be grateful for all of the wonderful things I have.

I decided I wanted to use the wing pattern for a papercut this week...

It didn't really go quite to plan. I chose a soft, muted, blue tone for the paper, but I don't think that worked terribly well. Maybe, I should have stuck to white or black, I'm not sure.

Normally, I would draw the design on the back and cut that side, then turn the piece over... but in this case, as the dusty blue was too dull, I used the side I was cutting as the front! :-) It's not perfect, by a long stretch, but it was better than the pale blue.

It was so strange to be cutting the pattern of something that had been living, but that was now dead. It was also really strange to be cutting a pattern that didn't have a copyright! :-) I almost felt guilty pinching the beautiful design from this extraordinary creature.

I felt even stranger when I had finished. Almost like, the pattern on paper didn't begin to come close to the true beauty of nature. It's just impossible to recreate. If I'm honest, it felt a bit of a let down.

I had wanted to add a quote to the bottom of this piece, or around the edges, but after wasting a couple of hours with computer problems this morning, it will have to wait. Which is a bit frustrating.

Ironic then, that the whole theme of this week was about letting go of perfection and enjoying life to the full. Neither of which, I have succeeded at this morning! ha ha ha! :-)

... hmmm, maybe I shall leave this piece as is! I don't know, I've been looking at it for too long, I need a break! :-)

Maybe I can use my 'perfection' quote on another piece next week, because I'm sure next week, it will turn out perfect! heeeeee! ;-))))

Lots of love
Fi
xx

Step Twenty Seven: 10 thousand miles and her brooch...

2010-07-13T23:48:00.000-06:00

Dear Fi,

It was a perfect day to work on my project today. Constant rain. So, both the rain outside the window and my tears were running down as I worked on today’s piece.

I listened to the same CD over and over again, I am still listening to it right now. Beautiful, tender, touching...

I won the CD some time ago on Wishstudio blog, where I left a comment under Kim McMechan’s post. If you would like to listen to a few of her songs go to her website or here. I just fell in love with all of them. Each one is my favourite...

So now the hard part. I worked today with a picture of my Grandmother. Soon five years will pass since she died. I wasn’t able to look at this picture for all these years. For my project today I used a fragment of a picture I took the last time I saw her. A few months before her death. On the picture my Grandmother was sitting on a chair with me and my mom standing behind her. My 8 month old son was sitting in his stroller close to her. I flew 10 thousand miles to see her, because I knew she was dying. She had just underwent surgery and was happy to see her grandson for the first time. A few months later she passed away.

That is all I can tell you. That is all I can tell myself.

When I look at the alerted photo above I cry. The image is too powerful to bear. It is also something I didn’t expect would come out. I started a new class at the university last week called “Grief & Loss”. One of our assignments is to use various exercises to cope with grief, there are many, but using art is something I process deeply, so this is why I chose to do a collage. My plan was to do something beautiful, cover my Grandma in flowers, especially the scar on her face, make her look colourful and free as a butterfly. I think I wanted to alter my memory of what happened, I wanted to create a new way of remembering her. A new meaning. But it failed. It failed because I’m not ready. I still remember... and what I remember is still very sad.

However, I like to think that one day I will be able to see her coming out of the cocoon, and flapping her wings above me. Maybe a butterfly, or maybe an angel...

Since I couldn’t stand this sadness facing me today, after staring on the image above, I decided to add something, to cover the feelings, or maybe to deceive myself a little longer... So here She is... slowly morphing into an unknown form. Transforming my feelings with her own change.

As I often do in my artwork, I used a page from an old book, bought once on sale at the public library, to create my Grandma’s body. Then I panicked for a moment, because I don’t know the Czech language and I though that maybe there is something inappropriate written there. So I tried to search for some clues.

I found only two.

“Kate” which was my Grandmother’s name, and “bolest” which sounds very similar to Polish “boleść” and means pain, wound, sadness...

:*

Sylvia

P.S.
This beautiful brooch with a missing piece, you see below, is the only material thing I have after my Grandmother, but it suffices ;)

Step Twenty Seven: Paper cut stories

2010-07-13T12:16:00.000-06:00

Dearest Sylwi,

After my post a couple of weeks ago, where I used an image and quote in my papercut, I was curious to explore that idea further this week. I don't know why, but I was particularly curious to see if paper cutting could be more sculptural, almost 3D. Can't really explain why! :-) So, I set out today to explore how that could be achieved.

Using a rough sketch of a bird cage, I realised I could cut it out carefully (all except the very bottom) and fold the cage up up off the page... and then, I wondered if the same could be done with words. It can! The words stand up all by themselves. The cage, I helped slightly by sellotaping fine wire (bead wire) to the back - just to give it some backbone! :-)

The words, "If not now, then when?" are particularly strong in my mind just now. I'm thinking of signing up to a few things, but keep putting off the committment. On the one hand, I think, 'if not now, then when?'. On the other hand, I think, when the time is right, I'll commit! :-) (Hopefully, that's not just a terrible excuse to procrastinate more!)

So, those are the words I chose to work with today. It was really fun to use what was on my mind! Very therapeutic and satisfying to get it out into paper!

The tree symbolises the freedom and relieved state that I'll feel when I finally break free from the things that hold me back. Sometimes, it's comfortable to stay where you are - it's familiar and it's easy. However, the freedom you experience when you break out from your 'bird cage' is a far more beautiful and natural state.

As usual, I wish I had longer to draw out the idea first and then spend time doing a quality papercut. I'm not going to beat myself up too much though. I'm learning and exploring every week and I'm really enjoying it. It's such a luxury. No brief, not rules... just going with the flow! :-)

As a final experiment, I cut the paper into a strip, with the paper cut sticking up from it. When I bent the strip into coils, or scrolls, I loved how it sort of created a story, a sort of scene. I'd love to do either a bigger sculpture, with lots of scrolls or shapes and words... or alternatively, do teeny ones - almost like quilling, but with text and landscapes popping up from the coils! :-) In the pic above, I supported the curve with an old loo roll! hee hee! But obviously, if I was doing it properly, I'd have to use a thicker paper, or find some way of creating beautiful curves with the paper (with wire maybe, or glue)... hmmm, not sure how!

Or maybe I'm going crazy... I'm pretty tired now, it's late - I'm not normally this late posting (you might even beat me to posting today! ha ha!) I can't believe how fast today has gone by! Hope you're having a lovely day. Can't wait to see what you come up with!

Ohhh, I almost forgot. I couldn't get a decent photo of the paper cut today. It was so frustrating, but it's so dark here today (raining all day) and it's not the easiest thing to photo! :-(

{Also, can you believe we've passed the halfway mark already?!} :-)

Lots of love
Fi
xx